I do not necessarily think it is bad etiquette to not put the set menu in there... however you may be doing the staff/caterers a huge favour on the day......I used to work in hotels and i was shocked how many wedding guests do not understand the concept of a set menu and how rude they can be about it.....
Guest "Excuse me I don't like xxx "
me "i'm sorry sir/madam we are serving a set menu of the bride and grooms choice today"
guest "But that's not good enough i don't like it i want something different wheres the menu"
me "There may be a spare vegetarian option of xxx would you like me to check for you'
guest " no im not vegetarian i want meat"
me i " i shall speak to chef and see if he can make you something special however you will have to wait until the chefs have finished serving the other guests."
When in fact I felt like saying
"Sir/madam the bride and groom have kindly selected and paid for this meal for you why don't you go tell them it is not good enough for you and that you would like them to pay for another alternative meal especially for you and then i will go ask the chefs to stop serving everyone else while they prepare you that special something".
grrrr sorry flash backs i don't miss it LOL
like the murphys i'm not bitter
Hitched Awards 2012 Joint Funniest Hitcher (apparently) & Best Flasher