Hello newbie needs advice re picking a date

Hello fellow planners, I'm a newbie here dipping my toe in the water.

I need a bit of advice from those of you going through the planning stages at the moment.

My other half and I have been together for years; we live together and have an 8 year old daughter. We have decided to tie the knot, for various factors.  We know that we are in it for life, and feel like we want to formalise it. Also we have both seen our fathers dealing with health issues over the past couple of years, and came to the conclusion that as we get older, it may be easier to navigate any rough times ahead as husband and wife.

The only question that we have now is timing.

My father is seriously ill, and starts a course of chemo next month.  By early autumn we should know if it is having a positive impact on his condition.  If not then the final course of action will be to consider a transplant, or for him just to have supportive care for as long as he has. My FFIL also has some health complications.

So, ideally we would set the date early next year – however, I have suggested November to my other half.  It would break my heart to wait till spring to find that my father is too ill to attend/enjoy the day.  However, this does not leave us long to plan/save.

I’ve got venues/suppliers/dresses scoped out already – can we pull this together in 6 months? Also, will people be keen on attending a wedding so close to Christmas?

I know where my heart lies (a Nov date), but I also need some level headed advice. Hope I've not rambled too long!

Thank you.

K x

November is not close to Christmas, so don't worry. As for whether 6 months is enough - look, 3 weeks is enough if you think about it - time to give notice nad get yourself down the registry office. It all depends on what you want, and if you can accept that at short notice, you may have to compromise: smaller budget may = fewer guests or more basic venue. Short timeframe means that many places may get booked up. You may also not have a full choice of dresses if you want a traditional one from a bridal shop - mine took 6 months to get to the shop. You also state you need to save - again, this all depends on how much of the traditional wedding you want at short notice. Weddings can cost from £500, but how many extras do you want? Is it worth maybe having a small, cheap wedding that your fathers can attend, then maybe having a bigger celebration later on when you have money, if you still want one?

In your situation I'd probably bring it forward even more, to late summer. do any friends / family have a garden large enough to celebrate in, or do you live near a nice pub with gardens? have your ceremony (either church or reg. office) and then have a summer party style reception in the garden, ask family to help with catering etc, and use normal garden decorations to brighten it all up. Garden candles and chimeneas/fire pits to maintain light and heat when it gets cold.

Six months is loads of time!  We organised my sisters in 4 weeks, and my friends in 7 weeks.  In a way I wish we had done it quick, weve had far too much time to faff and fuss and get stressed.  Go for it in November I say!

As for saving, only you know what you can afford, although with only 6 months you may get some deals with suppliers for taking spare dates off their hands etc.  You may have to look at getting an off the peg dress/sample/high street/preloved/second hand unless you find one like this week.

If you really want November then go fo it!

Of course it is do able ! 

Look at your budget and work with in it.

off the peg dresses will both save money and time.

Look at anything that can be done as DIY projects also.

Good Luck ! 

L x

Thank you all for your quick responses, and suggestions.

I think that we can plan this easily in 6 months, but I've read some other forums and seen people saying things like "I only have 2 years to plan this!" - and I began to wonder if I was missing something.

We have a venue in mind for ceremony, wedding breakfast and evening reception all in one go.  They will do a package that includes DJ, and I think I'll be able to haggle with regards to some other costs. We have a rough guest list and I'm thinking of using an overseas service for the dresses (I know it's a risk, but I've done some research).  Back up plan and cheaper option is local civic centre followed by reception/evening do at a local sports & social that will do a meal.

After that it's just minor details.

Just need to have a chat with the folks this weekend. They have said that they want to help with costs, which is very kind, and this may have an impact on which option we go for.

Thanks again! Hope all your planning is going well.

K x