Lordy I have learnt a hell of a lot! And not all good.
I have learnt that I am a perfectionist that finds it hard to make a decision on things
That i'm annoyingly matchy matchy and everything has to match.
I have learnt that friends I thought were friends are actually not which was a hard one to accept. You really think you know peopl and youc an be so wrong.
I have learnt that some people couldn't care less about us.
The biggest one for me was seeing after a long time that my family are no good. For a long time I have had various battles with them over this and that and constantly falling out (we are a very small family just me my elder sister my mum and my dad) They have never been a particularly loving family and i really have to bend over backwards to make an effort to keep communication with them and it's always me doing all the hard work. I ven have to force them to spend time with their granddaughter.
It's been a long time coming but they have finally made their feelings quite clear and none of them are coming to the wedding now. It's been hard to accept and for a while I was upset but as time goes by i realise that although it may be 'traditional' for them to be there, it's not the end of the world that they are not. Afterall if they loved me and were happy for me to be getting married they would want to be there right? I knew it was going to go pear shaped when I asked my mum and sister if they wanted to come dress shopping and one said she was busy and needed to walk the dogs and the other said she wasnt in the right frame of mind to go dress shopping. I asked my friends all of whom were more excited than me.
They have never been the kind of family that are interested in what I do. I dance a lot and compete all over the country yet they have never ever once seen me perform. They've never said they are proud of me and I am not a tearaway wild child that has ever given them cause to not be. I have always had a good job, kept good company and looked after myself. It is almost as though they just don't care or love me. That is the only reason i can think of and the only good to come from it is that I will strive to be as little likethem as poss in the upbringing of my daughter. I would love a mum who had a say about my dress and tried to take over the floristry - but that's never gonna happen. I have to make the most of what I have got and surround myself with the people that care abuot me and are happy for us. You can't pick your family but thankfully you can pick your friends and I know I picked some gooduns.