• Manage your budget plan icon
    Budget close icon
    Manage your budget plan icon You are currently on budget !

    My budget: 10000

    My Cost so far: 7,800

    Create a free budget plan to organise your finances!

    • Manage your budget
    • Keep track of your spending
    bottom arrow icon
    Manage my Budget
  • Manage your to-do list icon
    Budget close icon
    Manage your to-do list icon You have 0 outstanding tasks!
    Tasks Complete: 32 Tasks Outstanding: 0

    Create a free personalised to-do list to help make your planning easy and fun!

    • Free step-by-step plan and time-line
    • Fun and manageable task list
    Manage my To-Do List Bottom arrow icon
  • New competitions to enter icon
    Budget close icon
    You have not entered any competitions

    Make sure you check back regularly as we are always adding new competitions.

    View Competitions Page Bottom arrow icon
hide
down arrow icon

My husband is autistic, ask me anything.

enterflora
Page 1 of 1 (13 items)
Sort Posts: Previous Next
  • My husband is autistic, ask me anything.

    It's amazing to find out how many of us know someone close to us who is on the autism spectrum. I thought someone might want to know what it is like to be married to someone who is autistic.

    ** Mrs L since 3rd September 2011 **

    http://www.hitched.co.uk/chat/forums/t/264289.aspx

     

  • Re: My husband is autistic, ask me anything.

    When did your H get diagnosed and how do you both 'manage'?  How does it manifest itself with your Hubby?  My apologies if I'm not using the correct terminology.

    (I ask this because I strongly suspect my H has is on the spectrum)



  • Re: My husband is autistic, ask me anything.

    fruitbat83:
    When did your H get diagnosed and how do you both 'manage'?  How does it manifest itself with your Hubby?

    He was diagnosed as a child, but unfortunately very little was done to help him. His parents assumed he would "grow out of it". He had speech therapy but that was the only help he received, even though he barely talked and wasn't properly toilet trained for a long time.

    We manage because he is fairly high-functioning and because I'm patient with him. He was many good traits linked to autism which are very attractive, like he cannot lie. He is also very loving. He finds it very difficult to emphathise with me, but he really cares, almost like I'm a mother figure (that sounds really weird but it's the best way I can describe it). 

    The main ways it becomes apparent is with social interactions. They don't come "naturally" to him at all, and if he is uncomfortable he freezes, and doesn't know where to look. He finds it hard to maintain eye-contact - the first time he met my mum he didn't look her in the eye at all. He has to learn everything and make himself remember certain cues as to how to behave - I had to teach him how to make people feel comfortable around him, what to look out for when someone is upset etc. Prior to meeting me he used countless self-help books to "teach" him social interactions. He also becomes anxious and panicky at really minor things, and becomes fixated on them. I've learnt that the best thing to do is to rock with him when he gets like this, as it helps to calm him down. He cannot understand sarcasm or metaphors etc, and takes what I say really literally, so I have to be careful in how I phrase things and my tone of voice.

    ** Mrs L since 3rd September 2011 **

    http://www.hitched.co.uk/chat/forums/t/264289.aspx

     

  • Re: My husband is autistic, ask me anything.

    Do you think it's obvious when first meeting him that he is autistic? 

    Riding the Stork | www.ridingthestork.com | My place to blog about pregnancy, motherhood and all things pretty.  

     

    "Storky is posh-ish. Not so posh you want to punch her but a very nice accent." Kharv, 2013.

  • Re: My husband is autistic, ask me anything.

    Cricks:
    Do you think it's obvious when first meeting him that he is autistic? 

    It depends on how comfortable and relaxed he feels. When he first met my mum, sister and some of my friends it was very obvious. But much of the time he just seems shy. If he is anxious about meeting someone for the first time I sometimes warn them beforehand so they will be understanding about it.

    ** Mrs L since 3rd September 2011 **

    http://www.hitched.co.uk/chat/forums/t/264289.aspx

     

  • Re: My husband is autistic, ask me anything.

    Did you know straight away he had autism?

    Are you his first partner?

    This gives me so much hope for my son.  I hope he meets someone like you!

  • Re: My husband is autistic, ask me anything.

    jojo2:

    Did you know straight away he had autism?

    Not the first time I met him - I just thought he was a bit "unusual". It became very clear the more I got to know him.

    Are you his first partner?

    Yes. Well, he briefly dated someone before me but it didn't go very well at all. I was told by many of mine (and his) friends that it was a bad idea, but love's love.

     

    ** Mrs L since 3rd September 2011 **

    http://www.hitched.co.uk/chat/forums/t/264289.aspx

     

  • Re: My husband is autistic, ask me anything.

    Not a question but I just wanted to say I'm glad he's found someone like you. It sounds like you're great for each other and it's so nice to hear when people are matched so well that they bring out the best in each other. 

    Riding the Stork | www.ridingthestork.com | My place to blog about pregnancy, motherhood and all things pretty.  

     

    "Storky is posh-ish. Not so posh you want to punch her but a very nice accent." Kharv, 2013.

  • Re: My husband is autistic, ask me anything.

    Cricks:

    Not a question but I just wanted to say I'm glad he's found someone like you. It sounds like you're great for each other and it's so nice to hear when people are matched so well that they bring out the best in each other. 

     

    This. What a real love story - for better and for worse. He is very lucky to have you, but saying that you are both equally blessed.

    My question is, do you worry about having children?

    Most Reasonable Hitcher Smile  Hitched Agony Aunt Hug

    Hitcher Most Likely to Turn Wedding Planning into a Career Drinks

    Thread of the Year 2012 Star Joint Most Pleasant Hitcher with the lovely Flowmojo Thanks

  • Re: My husband is autistic, ask me anything.

    *JoJo85*:
    My question is, do you worry about having children?

    I do sometimes. I know it is possible that our children will be more likely to have autism, but from what I've read the hereditability of autism is a complex issue - maybe FTLOMB will know more about this?

    I think he will be a very good father and he's very loyal and caring to those who are close to him, though I know I will probably have to do the lions share of the "emotional" side of things.

    ** Mrs L since 3rd September 2011 **

    http://www.hitched.co.uk/chat/forums/t/264289.aspx

     

  • Re: My husband is autistic, ask me anything.

    enterflora:

    Cricks:
    Do you think it's obvious when first meeting him that he is autistic? 

    It depends on how comfortable and relaxed he feels. When he first met my mum, sister and some of my friends it was very obvious. But much of the time he just seems shy. If he is anxious about meeting someone for the first time I sometimes warn them beforehand so they will be understanding about it.

    The brief time I met your H I thought he was shy. Wouldn't have thought "unusual"

  • Re: My husband is autistic, ask me anything.

    enterflora:
    I know it is possible that our children will be more likely to have autism, but from what I've read the hereditability of autism is a complex issue - maybe FTLOMB will know more about this?

    Autism has a strong genetic link and there are lots of high-profile studies going on to find the genes involved (with some discovered). In most people, it wil be a combination of several gene variants. So it's difficult, likely impossible, to predict the risk to children, except to say the it's 'statistically higher than in the control population'. 

     

    Don't be fooled by their innocent looks. All Emmas Are Evil. And they're coming for you.

    Hitched Awards 2013 - officially a scary blunt.

  • Re: My husband is autistic, ask me anything.

    ForTheLoveOfMrsBrown:
    Autism has a strong genetic link and there are lots of high-profile studies going on to find the genes involved (with some discovered). In most people, it wil be a combination of several gene variants. So it's difficult, likely impossible, to predict the risk to children, except to say the it's 'statistically higher than in the control population'.

    Thanks for clearing that up! I guess it will always be a big risk but I think we will still want to have children. I suppose screening is not an option since the genes involved are unknown?

    Thanks for saying that LMR - it's taken a long time for him to get that comfortable so it's really nice when people just think he's shy! I guess I thought he was unusual the first time I met him because he still couldn't look me in the eye and often was unable to follow the conversation. He also said and did some very strange, socially inappropriate things. I should have been scared away but he's like a little boy really, he just needs a bit of looking after.  

    ** Mrs L since 3rd September 2011 **

    http://www.hitched.co.uk/chat/forums/t/264289.aspx

     

Return to: Off Topic Posts
Page 1 of 1 (13 items)