Shouting at kids

Hi All

I'm not quite sure why i'm posting this, but I just can't seem to stop shouting at my three and four year olds.  THey are not naughty kids as such, and i'm sure they just do what other kids do, but when they do something like throw a toy car at the wall (which they know they shouldn't do), rather than sit them down and tell them off, I automatically shout at them.  I've since noticed that they shout and get angry like I do, so now i'm worried they are copying me.  Like I said, not sure why i'm posting this as i'm sure no one can help, think I just needed to get it off my chest.

CW I think the fact that you have realised you do it and want to change it is the main thing! I think you'd be hard pushed to find a mum who didn't shout at the kids and then feel bad about it!

Parenting is hard work so dont beat yourself up. How about finding a book that could give you some ideas for how you could redirect your anger to let it come out in anotehr way? I bet there are loads!

THanks Nixxy Noo, it sounds worse than it is when you write it down, its just I shout rather than come down to their level and explain what they have done wrong calmly.  As you say, I know I do it, so I now need to redirect the shouting - hopefully not at hubby

Sawyer had a phase where he whinged CONSTANTLY. Between crawling and walking when he was so frustrated and I must admit to shouting at him on quite a few occasions! It didn't help....

 

Sometimes getting something like that off your chest (even on a forum) can mean that next time you want to shout, you think about it more and can stop yourself. Fingers crossed!

 

Seriously, don't beat yourself up about it though x

I find it really hard not to shout, especially when they've done something I've told them not to do loads of times or it is something dangerous.  I used to shout loads and I think my son has a short temper b/c of this.  I'm getting better as I take a deep breath now and have been doing more with good behaviour charts etc.  I do find it hard with my older child b/c we are very alike (both have a bit of a stubborn streak) so we argue a lot whilst my youngest is more mellow and I find I am more patient with her as she doesn't seem to lose her temper quite so often.  I find that taking a break in the evening to hitch or take a walk if possible when H gets home does help give me some quiet time.  or even just reading a magazine whilst the kids are playing nicely makes me feel I've had a bit of 'me time' and I find it does help me be more patient.  it is hard and I worry sometimes i've 'damaged' my older one but he is getting better as I'm getting better iyswim

I've started making an effort not to shout at my 3 year old so much.. It just doesn't work and all it does is make me feel more stressed and like I'm not coping! I've been trying not to tell him stop/don't etc and it really seems to be working.. Ie, instead of saying "don't shout" I say "can you use your little voice please?"

I do still shout sometimes when he's doing something dangerous or hurting the baby but I'm trying to do it less.. It's so hard though!!