WWYD re having another

Hi all,

Not been around for a long time (and just wanted to say congrats to Pip.  You were pregnant again last time I was on here and I have just seen you have two children nowxx) and had kind of moved on from the whole baby thing, hope nobody minds me coming on and can help with my dilema.

We lost our first baby William at 22 weeks for feotal abnormalitlies and then went on to have 2 healthy girls in june 2007 and march 2009.  I had unidentified infections after both girls that kept me in hospital for several days but other than that I was ok.  For 18 months after Izzy was born I was desperate for another baby but I think my husbands lack of enthusiasm meant eventaullay I gave up on the thought of having a third.  I sold all my baby stuff and had moved on.  We had plans in place for the next year, I have secured a place to run the marathon in 2012 and was supposed to have a tvt op (pelvic floor) last month.

My period was a few days late and my husband kept joking I was pregnant so I did a test on 1st june to find I was.  I was gobsmaked becaseu I did not think I was and my coil was still in place to my knowledge, I was really unsure, it totally freaked me out.  We went for a scan at 5 weeks after a bleed and then again at 7.  I knew as soon as I accepted the pregnancy it would go wrong.......which it did.  I was disagnosed with a blighted ovum on the 21st june and had a D&C on the 22nd to remove the pregnancy and the coil.  Lots of other stuff has also happened in the last few weeks but I havent got that long!! 

Anyway my point is now I cannot get it out of my head about having another.  Logically it is a bad idea, my pros and cons list is very heavily weighted on the cons side (financially, space, practicallities etc) but everythought is dominated by the thought of having another.  My husband is not enthusiastic but has not said a definite no.  Should I go with head?

WWYD?

(I have missed out lots of details but I have a hospital appt for an ear infection and I need to leave in 20 mins!!)

Helen

Hi Helen

I remember you from a couple of years back - your Izzy is about the same age as my George.

I'm really sorry to hear about your m/c and hope you are doing OK.

Obviously the question about having another is one only you and your H can answer but it sounds like your m/c has made you realise that you do want another baby. I would give yourself a bit of breathing space to recover from the m/c before you decide if you can... it sounds like there are lots of things you need to think about to decide whether you want it enough to get over all of the cons!

Hope the hospital appointment goes OK.

Katie xxx

Just from reading your post it sounds like you always wnted another but 'life' got in the way. And now it seems to have brought all those feelings to the surface. Give yourself some time to get your head and feelings together xxxxxxx

Need time to write a proper answer so bear with me and I'll be back later

Hi

Sorry you've had such a tough time of it. I dont think anyone else can really answer for you as it's what you and your H want. I do think it's hard to shut off the feelings you have though and that once you've prepared yourself for another baby that the thought is there now. I honestly believe sometimes when you lose something it makes you realise how much you wanted it.

I would imagine you'd need to talk this through properly with your H and what he really thinks, and then could you speak to someone from the care team to see what can be put in place for you if you did have another in terms of your history?

Thank you for your responses.  Hospital went ok except i now have an infection in my other ear so more anti biotics and drops but hey ho!!!

Why is it everybody says what i think but i dont seem to be able to formulate what i want in a way that i can explain it!!

Helen