Living at home

Another boomerang here!

First moved out at 18 to go to uni. Moved back for 6 months when it didn't work out. Moved out again with a boyfriend, they obviously weren't expecting me back and gave my room away to my sister! Ended up back there 6 months later when the relationship broke up. Stayed for 3 months and moved into a house share. Was there for a year but got really ill with depression, signed off work and flitted between the house and parents for 3 months and at the end of the lease moved back properly. Was there again for two months and then moved into another house share. Was in there for 6 months, then OH's (now H) parents chucked him out. My lease was at an end so we both moved into my parents for 6 months while we saved and house hunted. Bought our flat almost two years ago and haven't looked back!

Definitely not going back again! 

My little brother is 23 and still at home. It drives my mum mad as she can't see him ever leaving. He even moved his girlfriend in! Didn't actually ask. One day it was "Can Lara stay the night?" and then Lara never left...8 months later they still live in the box room and sleep on a single bed. To say the room looks like a squat doesn't do it justice! The wardrobe is tiny so all their clothes are on the floor, most of mums crockery and cutlery is festering on the floor (used), they smoke in there (weed and fags) so it stinks, and to top it off they somehow squeezed in a sofa in that they got from the pub

I live with my grandma at the moment whilst i finish my MA. Its only been for a year and i've both loved it and hated it. Looking forward to finally moving in with D in a few weeks now.

I moved out of my parents house four years ago when I went to Uni though.

Tom has always been very independent and although he's only 10 next month I would see him moving away when he's done with education, which is fine by me as long as he's healthy and happy. If he decides that he wants to go to Uni locally its fine for him to stay here whilst he does so, but its equally fine for him to move away (if he's paying for it).

If he is in work and still living at home, I'll do what my mum did and write out a "tenancy agreement," give him a rent book and charge him current market values.  It didn't do me harm, and it taught me the value of money

Tray1980:

If he is in work and still living at home, I'll do what my mum did and write out a "tenancy agreement," give him a rent book and charge him current market values.  It didn't do me harm, and it taught me the value of money

 

Maybe this was my problem!  I lived with my dad (after parents divorced when I was 11) and I got away with murder!  He never pushed me to get a part time job, even though I did when I was 16 but he never made me give him any money.  When I started working full time at 17 he would only take £100 a month off me but still brought all my toiletries when he did the weekly shop.

Went to uni at 18 and never turned back! Obviously went home for a couple of months most summers, but for the last couple of years at uni, we kept the same house, so just stayed there. Last time I was at home for any period of time was the two or three months of summer after law school before moving to London to start my job. That's the summer I met OH. When I packed it in in London and moved back, it was a choice of moving in with folks or with OH. The former was never really a choice.

OH travelled a lot after uni, so was in a similar position to me, although some of his brothers have lived with his parents for long periods during their 20s. OH and one of his brothers have now admitted that their parents did way too much for them.

I frittered away my student loan, despite my parents generously covering my rent. OH's parents did something weird like taking his student loan for themselves (and obviously paying it back themselves!) as some form of low interest loan and just covered all of his uni expenses. When I have kids, I'd like to think I'll be in a position to support them through uni, but will suggest that they put their loan in a savings account, which will set them up with a nice little nest egg for the future.

Bates2Be:

When I have kids, I'd like to think I'll be in a position to support them through uni, but will suggest that they put their loan in a savings account, which will set them up with a nice little nest egg for the future.

At £8k-9k per year before living costs I doubt we will be able to pay it all. I'd like to be in the position to pay some of it though.

Red Baroness:

Bates2Be:

 

When I have kids, I'd like to think I'll be in a position to support them through uni, but will suggest that they put their loan in a savings account, which will set them up with a nice little nest egg for the future.

 

 

At £8k-9k per year before living costs I doubt we will be able to pay it all. I'd like to be in the position to pay some of it though.

 

Ah yes, forgot about the fees hike!

Trickers:

I have friends who are 31 and 28 who are married and have two kiddies (age 4 and 1) who live with her parents and her brother.  They are not there temporarily whilst they save money, they are actually staying there and buying the house when her parents pass away (parents are only 50 years old).

Anyone else think this slightly odd?

Yes extremely! They are just waiting for the parents to die so that they can own a house?! 

I left for uni at 18, went back for 3 months when I moved from London at 22 and was waiting for my house purchase to go through and that was that. I don't have any friends or family members that lived with their parents after 21 either.

Trickers:

When I started working full time at 17 he would only take £100 a month off me but still brought all my toiletries when he did the weekly shop

This is the deal I had with my parents too - it ended up being me that would increase the housekeeping I paid them!

Trickers:

I have friends who are 31 and 28 who are married and have two kiddies (age 4 and 1) who live with her parents and her brother.  They are not there temporarily whilst they save money, they are actually staying there and buying the house when her parents pass away (parents are only 50 years old).

 

Anyone else think this slightly odd?

 

YES!

Poor parents- probably checking thier dinner for arsenic and razor blades! My mum offered me her hosue when she dies- shes only 62 hope shes not going anywhere soon!

I left home at 18 to go to uni, back at 21 for 6 months and then back at 25 for a year when id maxed out all my credit cards and couldnt pay my rent on them anymore- ma and pa mini offered me to come home rent free- bless them.

I moved out when I was 21 and newly qualified as mum and I would have fallen out big time.

OH went to uni after taking a year out, and moved back in for a bit while he saved for a deposit, then moved out when he was 27

ForTheLoveOfMrsBrown:

Christ on a bike, are you serious? No. :) Moved out at 18, never been back.

WSS.  I left at 18 to go to Uni, but I'd been desperate to move out for years.  Anyone familiar with the Scotland Street books?  Think of the 6 year old Bertie dreaming of the day he's 18 (without the child prodigy element).

Don't get me wrong, I love my parents, but being at home was very claustrophobic.  They had a pretty volatile relationship, my father had both health issues and an alcohol problem, plus was very over-protective of me. I was an only child which I think made matters worse.  From the age of about 11 I spent as much time as my Nan's as I could, but by the time I left for Uni my relationship with my father was quite poor (and my tolerance of his behaviour was becoming increasingly lower). 

I went back for the summer holidays after my first year, after the second year I was back for 3 weeks before having a massive row with my father on my 20th birthday and walking out.  I stayed with my Nan for a few days, then an aunt for a week before going back to the city where I was at University and staying with OH in the house he was sharing with his mates (they were a couple of years older so had already graduated, but were still living in the same area).  I didn't speak to my father for 4 months (he tried, unsuccessfully, to stop my mother speaking to me either), and we only started speaking again as I realised it would be down to me to build bridges so bit the bullet and made contact first.  Partly because I didn't want to persist with an awkward situation for my mother, and I thought the longer I let it fester the harder it would be to resolve.  I honestly think it was the first time in his life a woman had stood up to him, and whilst he never accepted that he was in the wrong, I think it did eventually have a positive effect, as he is now (marginally) more considerate of other peoples feelings.

After graduating OH and I started renting a place, we were dirt poor for a good while but there's no way on earth I would have gone back to my folks.

I moved out when I was 20, later than I would have liked to.

I clashed so badly with my Mum as she tried to take over with my son. When I moved out we got on a lot better. i'd never move back in with her though, even though we are now really close.

I'd like to think my sons will move out at around 18. I've got bank accounts for them which I put money into weekly, for their university fees. If they choose not to go to Uni, then I'd like to think they'd use it to get their own place to live.

ebony_rose:

I've got bank accounts for them which I put money into weekly

hope you dont mind me asking how much do you put aside for them? im thinking of doing this for my kids too x

I moved out of my parents' house at 19 for uni. (I took a gap year and worked during it, paying them £400 a month rent.) I've only been back for holidays and during my Finals.

I can't live with them though. When I went back during Finals, my dad p!ssed me off so much within the first three days that I called my then-boyfriend (now H) to come and pick me up and I went to live with him for a week while I calmed myself down! His parents had gone away on holiday so I didn't have to deal with living with them.

When our flat lease ran out last week, we knew we couldn't afford to renew it (as they put the rent up by £400 a month) and I wanted to rent with friends but H wouldn't hear of it and we have now moved in with his parents. It's okay, it saves us a fair amount of money and he is getting made redundant soon so it gives us some stability while he looks for a job. But I HATE the loss of independence and cannot wait to leave ASAP. I feel like a bit of a failure