Pre-school - can I bounce some ideas off you all?

We've had Toby's name down for our local preschool, with a view to him starting either this January, or if there wasn't a place, the following September. I don't think there's a place as we haven't heard and in theory I'm perfectly happy to have him off until September. It's a nice little pre-school, nothing amazing about it at all - just a few toys ina  hall but the staff seem warm and caring, and I know a lot of the kids move up to the primarys chool that he will be going to so he would have some friends.

However, we were talking last night and obviously circumstances are slightly different now with the new baby on the way in June. I don't want him to associate starting preschool with the new baby arriving in any way shape or form - and Toby being Toby he WILL associate it if there's any excuse to. Which has got me thinkig that he's less likely to make a connection if he's already settled at pre-school by the time the baby's here.

However, this would obviously mean January, and as there isn't a place at our chosen one then, plus there's the issue that they're really anti-taking them when they aren't potty trained, which he won't be by then.

There's a lovely day nursery within spitting distance of our house which I actually looked round when I was working in case we needed it, and the manager was lovely and the facilities were good. I've looked at the costing and bizarrely the price works out pretty much the same for the day nursery as it does for the pre-school once childcare vouchers have been taken into account. In fact in some ways it's better money as he would get more hours and he has meals included. Plus, there's no issue with not being potty trained. Thinking about it, I also like the fact that the nursery divides them into rooms by age, whereas the pre-school all ages are just in a big room together, which T could potentially find overwhelming being the way he is. There would obviously be flexibility with starting times as well - it wouldn't have to be Jan or Sept - could be any month inbetween. I also feel that the settling-in process, which I envisage being difficult at whatever age, would be easier if I didn't have a newborn in tow while doing it?

But I can't help but feel a bit guilty that if we did put him down for the pre-school I would be doing it for my own benefit, as this plan has only come about since I found out I was pregnant and if I wasn't pregnant we would probably just keep him off til September. I want to make the decision that's best for him and not for myself. I keep thinking he's so small still but then he'd be at least 2.5 by the time he started - that's old enough isn't it?

Any thoughts on what I've said above? And any hitcheds who know Toby in the flesh, what do you think would be best for him?

Thanks for reading my ramblings!

But it's not just for your own benefit, it's for T's aswell as you said he may find it hard when the new baby comes as he may feel pushed out to make way IYSWIM

Only you know how your son will handle the new babies arrival and whether starting him at nursery/preschool during this time will unsettle him.

I think the other place sounds like a fab idea, don't beat yourself up about it he will love it.

I'm a big fan of children going to nursery/pre-school even if part time.  D is down to start in November 1 short day a week (until 3.10pm) which will hopefully be one month before baby2 arives.  He'll be 17 months.

It ties in with when I finish work and I'd like a few days on my own without D so I can rest.  When baby2 is here I'm happy knowing that he'll have one day a week at least where he'll mix with other children and do fun age appropriate stuff that I may not be able to do with him at home.  In addition to that I'll try and get out as much as I can but with 2 I think it may take a while! 

From what you've said I think the nursery sounds like the best option and I think T will get more out of it that you might think so it's not selfish reasons really

A started pre-school this September- 5 days after C was born! She took to it really well. She only goes 2 afternoons a week. I was concerned she might feel that she was being sent there because of the new baby but we talked to her a lot about going to 'school' during the summer and when we would go past the building she would say "that's  my school" A was a month short of being 3 when she started. She also loves it when Mummy and baby brother come to collect her as H has done mos t of the dropping off and picking up since she started.

I think at two & a half he would be fine ... Are you considering a couple of half days or full days?

Also, have you checked how long their waiting list is?  You`re more likely to get a place quicker if you`re flexible about days.

I'd start him in January.  I completely understand the guilt side of things - C still does 2 days at nursery and 1 with MIL despite me being on ML (although she does 9-3 at nursery rather than 8-4/5).  Late pregnancy is really tiring with a 2 year old around and you'll probably appreciate the time off.

Just to add, knowing Toby I would condider building the hours up & doing some settling in sessions first until he is completely comfortable. 

If you do start him in January don`t be worried if he has a minor setback once the baby arrives, That extremely common.  I  think it would be a great opportunity for him to burn off energy & give you chance to rest.

E was 2 in the May and started her pre-school the following November, so I don't think his age would be a problem. I think he'd really benefit from the different interaction and change of scenery, based on how Evie has been. I would check with both the nursery and the pre-school about starting dates and spaces and once you have all the knowledge, make a decision.

It will probably take him a few sessions to get settled in and I think you'd be better off doing it earlier rather than later so you have the energy to deal with it as well. Don't feel guilty, chances are he'll love it and can't wait to go back! I'd definately try to get him settled in a wee while before bambino arrives xxx

Thanks everyone, that's reassuring you think it would be a good idea. I guess the next step is to take another look round.

Ideally I think 2 mornings would be better but I need to find out whether they offer that. I probably wouldn't have him in there 8-6 even though I know I'd have to pay that much, and yes I also think gradual settling in would be a good idea.

Is it normal to wibble over things like this?

Do they not offer half days?  Most nurseries do.

I'm not sure Meems, it doesn't say on their website but it's something to ask when we look round.

Is there definitely not a space for him at the original one and are they definitely strict about no nappies?!

I ask because, its still only just October and although we as mummies think ahead, they may not and might not have even looked at the intake for Jan yet?

And, I thought the playgroup E starts at were no-nappies but I rang to ask and they said it wouldn't be a problem at all if he were still in them.

I'm just thinking as that one was your 1st choice you might prefer to stick with it, and often day nurseries don't offer half days till they are in the preschool room at 3yrs so a full day might be a bit much for him?

Maisy Mouse:

Is it normal to wibble over things like this?

Completely.  In fact in this house normal to wibble over EVERYTHING.

WHBS totally - I had no qualms at all about S being in nursery 'for me', and M will be the same - they get a more rested mother, and they get a place that is totally theirs, that takes them through the upheaval. I know the routine of nursery has been a godsend to S since M was born - somewhere she is still the centre of the universe, somewhere hers.