too nervous to ring priest

hi ladies

i dont often post but really need a bit of advice, im trying to organize a catholic wedding(im catholic, h2b non denom), have already rang a church near my parents(actually thats a bit of fib, as my sister did it for me). sis said the vicar was nice but told us to ring back in the new yr regarding a booking, this put me off a bit as lots of other ladies on here had their dates booked upto 12mths in advance, ours in july 2010.

now im having second thoughts about this church as its not my local parish, so i have been off all the week and had the intention of ring my local parish, its the place where my daughter was baptized and made her communion in june last yr, but i feel sick with nerves as im rubbish on the phone and dont know what to say, or who'll answer the phone!!(pathetic i know :() 

so if you're still reading ths long post, what would you do? shall i just go to mass on sunday and try and have a word with the priest or ring tommorrow morning

thanks for listening

claire

Claire there are far worse things to be worrying about that the priest! He's there to help you and will be thrilled that you have chosen to (hopefully) get married there! Please dont stress about it. Why dont you call or take a walk/skate up there tomorrow and speak to him/her.

Were they particularly horrible when your daughter was baptised? I'm guessing not, so take a deep breath and go for it*

Good Luck

Max

(*remember to reward yourself with a bar of chocolate after you have done it)

I'm no expert by any means, but personally I'd ring as he might be a bit busy at mass or be unable to help then- you could always suggest on the phone that you could meet with him at mass if convenient?

I feel ur pain totally. I was extactly the same and made my OH phone lol. But the vicar was sooooooooooo nice and was actually really helpful with planning!! Nothing to worry about.

However, r u eligable to marry at that church? As u have to live either live in the parish, have lived in the parish for more than 6months during ur lifetime, attend the church regularly for 6months or u or ur OH been baptised/christened etc in that church. This is uk law.

I found when i spoke with vicar that they are pretty flexible with dates and booking the church isnt a problem. Its getting reception venue (hence why i have had to plan 20months ahead). Our vicar recommended we spoke to reception venues for availaility prior to picking a date and also chcecking other things which our important to our day. We originally wanted to marry in 2010 but found it was to soon to get what we wanted. 

Hope this helps!

good luck

x

Think rules and regulations are different for RC... but could be wrong.

I just spoke to our priest after Mass one sunday, was somehow easier face to face.

Also, don't be out off by the whole 'Ring in the new year' thing. Mt dad's a vicar and he always asked people to call in January. You can fit in 4 or 5 weddings per day in a church- it's not like a reception venue where there's probably one or two weddings per day x

my oh is catholic and i'm not we phoned him and we had to visit him the week after (i was ill so didnt go) the date got booked in and we were to return 6 months before.

phoned 6 months before and i went to this one....................was totally terrified but he was such a normal man!! made me laugh too!! got loads of details finalised too

phone him and see.

oh thanks girls, you've really put my mind at rest.

have just found the parish's email addy, and just sent a quick message, but will be at mass on sunday with my big singing voice so he know who i am

as to the actual legalities of non catholic marrying outside the religion if i remember right as long as h2b agrees to bring up any children we have in the catholic faith then i think its ok, which we have done

i'll let you all know how i get on on sunday

thanks again

sorry forgot to ask but did anyone have to do marriage prep classes, dont think hubby will be too happy if we do, as he's only doing the "churchy thing for me"

we've not but i have heard of it. Our priest doesn't want to see us again until 6 weeks before for my birth certificate and the marriage form then for the rehersal on the thursday night then the big day!!!

thats sounds fab tink, hope ours is the same, what's your wedding date?

april....only 13 weeks away!!!

most priests are kinda new school nowadays! i expected loads of questions since i'm not catholic...but nothing. and i expected the whole question about sex before marriage and if we lived together again nothing! he just wanted to know the time and what we worked as,lol

Glad your feeling better about it Claire, hope all goes well on Sunday x

(I just had to say, I originally read the bit in your first post as 'Im catholic, h2b non demon' I had about 2 double takes, I was highly amused after it!!)