PND/Depression sufferers - what do you think of this quote?

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• 18-Mar-2010 21:22

  PND/Depression sufferers - what do you think of this quote?

  Maisy Mouse Joined on 28-Jul-2005 United Kingdom Posts 8,972

  Contact I've just had a look at the PND section of our local netmums site and it has this quote as the header: "Children are very sensitive to atmosphere and moods.  They use you as a mirror and they will mimic your stress levels, which in turn will lead them to feel on edge and irritable and, in time, this could effect their mental and physical well being.  If you don't have the motivation to do it for yourself ( it is very hard to find the extra energy when you're already exhausted), do it for them." Now is it me, or is this not a very appropriate quote for someone with PND? It sounds like it's just a glossed-up way of saying 'pull yourself together'. Because to me it seems to be implying that if you can't find the motivation then you're damaging your kids? Or it could be that I'm being massively insecure as it's tapped into my fear that I'm damaging T in some way by being the way I am. What do you think?

• 18-Mar-2010 21:26

  Re: PND/Depression sufferers - what do you think of this quote?

  lambi Joined on 17-Feb-2008 United Kingdom Posts 9,493	Contact I don't have PND, but think this quote is pretty insensitive to those that do. As if mum's don't have enough to feel guilty about, let alone mums dealing with PND having things like this thrown at them. February 2009 - 36+0 - 6lb 12oz - Emergency CS August 2011 - 39+2 - 8lb 13oz - VBAC

• 18-Mar-2010 21:28

  Re: PND/Depression sufferers - what do you think of this quote?

  Madonna Joined on 30-Sep-2003 United Kingdom Posts 23,815	Contact Hmmm... I would certainly find that unhelpful. Of course there is a grain of truth in that all humans mirror moods etc, but to conclude with the 'pull yourself together' type comment is unhelpful in the least. Inspired by Sofie, Milo and all my angels, most recently Joe http://www.justgiving.com/JoeDonn/ Ideas and donations welcome x

• 18-Mar-2010 21:28

  Re: PND/Depression sufferers - what do you think of this quote?

  jelly baby Joined on 22-Feb-2005 United Kingdom Posts 17,833	Contact I think that is horrible, not supportive at all.  I'm glad I had Hitched to help me and that it wasn't Netmums that I was turning to Apologies for lack of capital letters - Zoe has stolen my shift key

• 18-Mar-2010 21:31

  Re: PND/Depression sufferers - what do you think of this quote?

  Sia* Joined on 05-Mar-2006 United Kingdom Posts 5,655	Contact I think it's hugely insensitive. Perhaps someone should answer who hasn't suffered with pregnancy related depression though Seriously though, we're bound to take it personally and do we not as sufferers put enough guilt on ourselves?  Poppy born 22/05/2009 7lb 1oz

• 18-Mar-2010 21:35

  Re: PND/Depression sufferers - what do you think of this quote?

  SnowflakeMum Joined on 16-Aug-2005 United Kingdom Posts 5,008	Contact I think I remember reading that, and thinking that it just confirmed what I already knew - that I was a crap mum who was creating a sad and stressy life for my child. Very helpful. Not. I wanted to go out and change the world but I couldn't find a babysitter.

• 18-Mar-2010 21:36

  Re: PND/Depression sufferers - what do you think of this quote?

  Maisy Mouse Joined on 28-Jul-2005 United Kingdom Posts 8,972	Contact I'm glad it's not just me! It actually quite upset me when I read it as it made me feel I can't be trying hard enough. I hardly ever go on netmums but just happened across it earlier and thought I would see if the PND section had any words of wisdom. It would appear not!

• 18-Mar-2010 21:38

  Re: PND/Depression sufferers - what do you think of this quote?

  SnowflakeMum Joined on 16-Aug-2005 United Kingdom Posts 5,008	Contact I think when I read it, it had a reasonable section on advice for family and friends, but not much else. I wanted to go out and change the world but I couldn't find a babysitter.

• 18-Mar-2010 21:39

  Re: PND/Depression sufferers - what do you think of this quote?

  bookgirl Joined on 05-Jan-2006 United Kingdom Posts 5,332	Contact Really not helpful. As if being a mummy with depression/PND wasn't hard enough and full of guilt!

• 18-Mar-2010 22:28

  Re: PND/Depression sufferers - what do you think of this quote?

  Corinne Joined on 19-Oct-2003 Herts/Beds Posts 8,186

  Contact Consider contacting them through the website and point out that they've gone a bit wrong with their statement, quoting the webpage address. I did this for something they wrote about food miles which was a bit dodgy and they replied, and changed the wording of the article. Herts/Beds sling agent for www.petitpoppet.co.uk E-mail: corinne@petitpoppet.co.uk Harpenden BF support group and sling library Babycalm Harpenden, St Albans & Chesham

• 18-Mar-2010 22:38

  Re: PND/Depression sufferers - what do you think of this quote?

  Maisy Mouse Joined on 28-Jul-2005 United Kingdom Posts 8,972	Contact It's apparently a quote from their own book, so I'm not sure they would be willing to remove it: http://www.netmums.com/shop/How_to_be_a_Happy_Mum_The_Netmums_book.643/

• 18-Mar-2010 23:05

  Re: PND/Depression sufferers - what do you think of this quote?

  Memi Joined on 08-Mar-2006 United Kingdom Posts 4,645	Contact Speaking as someoe who isn`t or hasn`t suffered from PND I think it`s worded very insensitively. I can`t see how it would make anyone feel better Isaac Finlay -9th May 2009 Gracia Mary Elizabeth - 2nd June 2011

• 18-Mar-2010 23:09

  Re: PND/Depression sufferers - what do you think of this quote?

  MarineGirl Joined on 19-Apr-2006 United Kingdom Posts 12,420	Contact I think it's a stupid thing to say, speaking as someone fortunate enough not to suffer.  Cos yeah - "do it for them" - you wouldn't have thought of that yourself, hey?  PND and depression recovery is about so much more than finding the motivation.  to you all.  It might be helpful in the context of the book, I don't know - but as a headline quotation it's rubbish.

• 19-Mar-2010 6:09

  Re: PND/Depression sufferers - what do you think of this quote?

  HappyGirl Joined on 22-Jul-2002 United Kingdom Posts 13,249	Contact I am glad I didn't read that whilst I was on my rollercoaster as it possibly would have sent me over the edge. I agree that children do mirror us but not until they are much older. Most mums suffer with pnd in the first year or two after birth . I think this is worded terribly and if I get chance I will tell then so. Mummy to two beautiful children,  DD born Nov 06 and DS born June 09

• 19-Mar-2010 6:51

  Re: PND/Depression sufferers - what do you think of this quote?

  Pittabre Joined on 04-Apr-2007 United Kingdom Posts 12,911

  Contact Frankly to be incredibly blunt when I was extremely ill that would have been enough to have made me decide to kill myself. All I want is the best for my child and reading that would make me think, 'actually they are right, I should kill myself so B doesn't have to suffer'. That has made so annoyed. Yet again a quote which basically implies that people with depression are just feeling sorry for themselves and they've made it up... Click to find out about my avatar My blog: http://dontbesillydear.blogspot.com/