OT have got myself upset

I guess it's more kind of OT as it is partly related to TTC. I feel really stuck and keep trying to think of ways out but I can't and I am really upset.

My H and Me bought our 1 bed flat in 2005 when market was flying high and 105% mortgages were being thrown around. Since then we have gone into some quite bad negative equity to the tune of around 10-15K. This would not be a problem at all but we really want to TTC (and are in fact) but know we won't have room for a baby which is horrible. As it stands at the moment we have a tiny flat one small double bedroom, one small living room, a tiny kitchen and a tiny bathroom.

We can't sell as we will be stuck with negative equity (ideally we want to sell and rent)

We can't be repossesed as we would probably lose all our stuff and car and not be allowed to rent and potentially lose our jobs.

We have now been told that they want to replace and renew the roof for the whole flat so potentially a huge cost to us (no idea how huge at the moment) we really cannot afford to be stuck with this but if we were putting place on market this would also lower the value significantly.

I know there are so many much worse things happening in the world but at the moment this feels pretty crappy and I try and talk to hubby and he comes up with stupid suggestions like losing our job and going on benefits (which is ridiculous and not something we would do).

Not sure why I am posting just needed to get all my feelings and thoughts out.

Sorry you are in this position BB. 

When it comes to TTC though bear in mind that babies don't need a lot of space really, especially not for as long as you are happy for them to be in your room with you, which really could be as long as need be not just the recommended 6 months. 

I hope things are brighter for you soon. x 

Sorry to hear your feeling a bit stuck - doesn't sound like a great situation at the moment but hopefully something wll come along to improve things.  Babies don't take up much room but I guess its the cost of raising them as well that you could do without at the moment.  Sorry to sound a bit preachy but what would you do if you were pregnant? Obviously the baby part would be great for you but could you cope with the loss of salary? do you have family who could provide childcare for free?  No idea of your circumstances but if if it was me i'd hold back a while I think as wouldn't want the financial stress.

Could you maybe sit down and write a list of thing that you would like to change and then see if you can try and think of ways of teckling them.  Is there any chance of either of you getting a second job to try and get some savings behind you. 

 

It must feel horrible to feel so trapped, I know a little bit how you feel. 

I know there are people on here who have young children in small flats and it is totally manageable.  A baby really doesn't need all that much space and would be sleeping in with you for at least 6 mths anyway.  Even as they get older you can manage.

Zoe is now 27 mths and we are facing the reality of downsizing to a 1 bed place, we have decided that we'll have a sofa bed for us in the living room and Zoe will have the bedroom.  it's not ideal but we'll just have to make it work. 

As others have said, a lot of people have a baby in a 1-bed place.  O was in our room till she was over 7 months anyway!  Although I appreciate what you mean re the space. 

 

Thanks for your help and advice everyone. I think we are going to tackle getting the flat to have bit more space for a baby. We might reconsider the sofa bed in the living room thing a bit. With regards to financial strain I am the main earner so we would probably have my husband give up work and be a full time house husband which is fine as we can afford to live on my wages (just about might have to change some small things) it is not the ideal situation but at the same time I am sure we won't have been the only people that have had do it.

Sorry to hear you may have to down size Jelly baby what a rubbish situation people are ending up in at the moment.

Re only having 1 bed - A only just moved into his room a couple of weeks ago and he is 16 months!!! I loved having him in with us so was in no rush to move him.

We coped just fine in a 1bed flat when we had Daisy. She's still in with us now at 10m due to lack of space. A small place shouldn't put you off ttc, but maybe having a new roof should be your priority, I would sort that out while it's just you two because there's no way you'll find time when baby comes along!! Could your H help a roofer to save money? Xx

I wouldn't let only one bedroom prevent TTC, but an alternative could be to rent out your flat and rent a bigger place for you until the market sorts itself out?

I'd get some research done on how much the roof would cost, discuss with your H whether he will be happy to become a SAHD, if not, what your options would be childcare wise and then crack on! If you've a happy marriage and ability to feed and clothe and keep a warm roof over your baby's head, all you need is love!
Good luck xx

Thanks again everyone. I should mention the roof is fine not leaking or anything but because we are leaseholders with the council the council has decided to do some works to renew the roof and we will be footed with the bill. We have been TTC for a while anyway and I think it will probably take a good while longer due to me being quite overweight (currently trying to lose weight) so think we will just continue and hope for the best.

 

I think my H is happy to be a SAHD but in typical him style he never wants to talk about anything properly until it happens lol. If worse comes to worse we have other childcare options in my mum just not what we would really choose to do.

Bellybee:

I should mention the roof is fine not leaking or anything but because we are leaseholders with the council the council has decided to do some works to renew the roof and we will be footed with the bill.

If the council are insisting call them and explain the situation to them, hopefully they can arrange something where you pay them back peanuts over many years, only ever having to pay it all off when you move.

On the one bed flat thing. I lived with my bed and elder brother in a one bed flat. Dad had put a bunk bed in the dining room/lounge/kitchen thing. It worked brilliantly. Honestly it works I can bore you senseless over how well it worked if you are interested

I am sorry you are feeling so horribly trapped

 

Bb it can be done lovely. We are stuck trying to sell.a 1 bed flat with a toddler and baby on the way. It's not ideal but we've managed and its fine. Basically we have turned it into a 2bed studio flat type place, our bedroom has the tv etc and aarons room has the couch which we will move when babies cot goes in his room etc. We do have a fair sized bedroom but living room is tiny

Sorry everyone I can never get on at work. I appreciate everybodies help and advice. I think we have decided we are going to look at getting the place done up a bit so it is not quite so depressing lol and then just get on with it. At the moment we are thinking of space saving devices and smaller furniture. We do have on the side of our house a small room that is probably almost a shed. We need to do a good clear out but I imagine we could probably store bulky items like the babies buggie and the nappies out there. (this is when there is an eventual baby lol)