Anyone work shifts?

How do you cope? I don't remember it being so hard with A but I'm really struggling being back at work this time. I can't sleep at night because L is a nightmare, I can't sleep during the day because the kids are downstairs. I feel like all I do is organise meals and who has the kids when, which car H and I need, where/when we need to swap for car seats. It's all so confusing! I'm totally stressed and my psoriasis is getting worse and worse. How do I simplify things for work? Any tips?

Coming from someone who doesn't have children of their own yet I really can't help but would it help if you both had car seats so you didn't need to meet up to swap over?

H and I have already had this conversation and my car is going to have an isofix and his will have a removable car seat because I'll use my car during the week and then we use H's at the weekend since his car is far nicer than mine (we just need to argue over who gets to drive the nicer car, lol).

Actually H doesn't trust anyone other than himself to fix a car seat in properly using the seat belts!

Can anyone help you out occasionally so you can have a bit of a rest?

Not quite the same as I don't work shifts, but H does!!  I'm sure it's A LOT easier having a H that works shifts than it being me.  But it's still often very complicated trying to sort out childcare, meals, sleeping arrangments etc.  I find that when H is on nights, I make sure I take the kids out for the majority of the day so that he can sleep in peace.  If home, I close the stairgate to stop the kids going upstairs, even though N knows how to open it, he also knows when it's closed upstairs is out of bounds. 

Mealtimes are often helped along with the slowcooker so that whoever is up in the morning puts the meal on and we can then do 2-3 sittings of the same meal if necessary.  I also meal plan for the week so we know exactly what we're eating when and therefore, whoever is home first, cooks! 

We also have 2 lots of car seats to make nursery pick ups etc. easier as we now never have to think about which car seats are required in which car. 

It's difficult, but we sort of muck in together and muddle through.  When H is home, he often has to do the childcare so that I can work (self employed) or shop or batch cook or clean or whatever is needed to make the forthcoming week easier.  I try to be super organised so that all bags are packed the night before, clothes laid out ready for the morning.  Packed lunches made etc., so that whoever is home can get on with the day as quickly and efficiently as possible whilst the other sleeps/works or does whatever drudgery is required.

Sorry - not much help, but it does get easier as you find a routine that works for you.

 

Sorry can't offer any ideas but wanted to send you a - sounds tough

Mr R & I both work shifts, it takes a lot of planning! We used to have 2 cars and we bought 2 cheap car seats for the crappier car - we had to sell that car, so just have one car now, so car seats not an issue, but it was so much easier have seats in each car. We (I say we, I mean I!) meal plan, do the shopping each weekend and have meals planned for the week. We get things ready the night before (school uniform, packed lunch etc). It is more challenging with 2 than with 1, and I feel like all I do is work, look after children, shop, tidy, laundry, meal plan, childcare plan, repeat ad infinitum. We have an Organised Mum family planner thing, it has 6 columns on so Mr R has a column for his shifts, I have one for mine, J has one for any school events, school holidays etc, H has one where I write whether she is at nursery or nannas, and there are 2 spare, and in those I write things like which bin is being collected (rubbish, recycling or garden waste), other peoples birthdays etc. I also have the Organised Mum shopping list / meal planner on the fridge door, if we run out of something it gets written on the list immediately, and I write down the meal for each day. Those two things really help. 

We cant put car seats in H's car because the seats are down flat as he needs to transport punch bags etc (we have a martial art school and he takes equipment out with him when teaching elsewhere)

I think a slow cooker is a good idea, going to look into that one. 

H does about 70% of the childcare as he works round about my shifts.  My mum helps out on the days I am working and H starts before I finish but I know she struggles with 2 of them.  She tends to do dinner and baths and its hard work with a 7 month old and 26 month old so the dishes, bibs, cups, used wipes, dirty table etc is usually left until I get home.

This past week I was dayshift Mon, Tues and Wed and nightshift tonight.

We were up with L from 4am Mon morning, I started work at 6.45am.  Got home and 7.30pm.  My mum was there as H already at work.  My mum had bathed them so I did stories and put A down, she was reluctant to go to bed becasue she hadnt seen me all day.  Was about 8.30 when I got her down, all the while L is screaming becasue he is shattered and wanting fed.  I got him down about 9.  Downstairs, tidied toys, washed dishes, prepared lunches and dinners for next day.  Reheated dinner for that night.  H home about 10.30pm.  We ate and chatted, watched some tv and the next thing I know its midnight.  get to bed and L is up at 2 f*ckin am!  H got him back down at 5.30 and my alarm goes off at 5.45.....I could have cried.  Next day was pretty much the same. 

I feel like I really cant function just now.  I look like ***, my skin is terrible, my hair is greesy, I have big black saggy eyes. 

I am trying to be organised, staying on top of the washing etc.  But everytime I look at my house I see everything that needs done.  We cant even get time just now to decorate L's bedroom.  He is in the room that used to be H's office and its still got a bookcase full of martial art and fitness books, a desk with the printers on it and shelves full of disks!  Looks like we have just dumped a cot in a store room.  I feel terrible about it but we just dont have time to sort it out. 

The whole house needs a good spring clean.  We bought a carpet for the Livingroom, its currently Cardene flooring, I want the skirtings etc painted before it goes down but goodness knows when thats going to happen, the carpet is still in the shop.  All the paint etc in the garage just sitting there. 

Its getting me so down looking at everything that needs done!

Sorry this has turned into a woe is me post!

 

 

I have just done a long reply and hItched has eaten it !!

It sounds like you ae having such a hard time i am not surprised you are finding things difficult. do you work full time? could you reduce your hrs ? look for a job in a more mon-fri 9-5 environment or does this make child care worse?

I am a nurse but I dont do nights i do a combination of 8-6pm,10-8pm,8-4pm,12-8pm. I only do 2-3 shifts a week though and only have one LO and find it a big juggling act. My H works away mon-fri so i juggle who is picking my lo from nursery but everything drop off bath,bed ,housework falls to me as there is noone else to do it. As i only work part time i find it managable with a good calender, although i am keeping my eyes open for a set days/hours job (but they all look a bit boring)

Does your H help around the house ?

BIg hugs as it sounds tough

I work fulltime hours but its condensed into 2 days one week and 3 days the next , so very long shifts.  Plus I do a 16 weekends a year aswell.  It doesnt sound much written down but when I am nightshift I really need a sleep during the day before I start and then I need a sleep after my last shift so thats using up more days. 

I cant look for another job as I am the main earner and I have a good salary, conditions etc and I am being made redundant Sept 2011 or 2012.  Ive been here 11 years so dont want to walk away with nothing. 

Cant reduce hours do to the shift pattern and teams we work in. 

My H does help around the house but at the moment its whoever isnt working has the children and vice versa so we are rarely both in the house at the same time so have very little time to actually get housework done.  A is great and will play away happily, "help" you dust, hoover etc but L is another story he needs alot of attention and gets bored easily, typical 7 month old I suppose. 

I would love to hire a cleaner, even just once a week to wash floors and clean bathrooms but H wont agree and I am not sure how the dogs would be with a stranger coming in. 

U know we will help u.out whenever all u need to do is shout x x

They are such long days, i do 2 shifts one week and 3 shifts then next but on part time hrs.

are you a nurse ? do you work for the NHS ? sorry to hear about redundency

Could you maybe ask H again about a cleaner or what about payimg someone to do the ironing gardening, decorating  etc so all you have to do is the cleaning and washing ?

 

I am a lab technician, not NHS though.  QC in the chemical industry <yawn>  I am actually not to fussed about the redundancy, Ive been bored here for a long time and its the final shove to make me do something else. 

 

CK - you any good with a paint brush lol

We have asked a decorator to come out and price the painting, need to get the room cleared though. 

Talking to H on FB chat just now, mentioned the cleaner again and it didnt say no, so thats progress. 

Oh sounds positive mrs JKN.

hopefully you will find the right job for you and your family. I hope things become easier for you soon

Thanks AngelVic.  I am already planning on retraining.  I want to do Massage, Reflexology and Aromatherapy.  My H does massage already with his PT clients so I have access to his treatment room, we can work around each other and it will hopefully take the pressure off.  Plus A will start her preschool placement in August next year and L will be that bit older so can only get eaiser.  We just need to get through each day one at a time!

Umm not the best at painting but I can clear / push a Pram if you need Logan out of your hair for a while

You're just after a test drive of my double lol