HRMl - Which option would you do?

It is my mum's birthday in October, Imogen will be 14 months old. I have yet to leave her overnight, and she occasionally gets left for a few hours with MIL, very rarely though. 

My parents have decided to go and stay with my sister who is three hours away from us and they want H and I to join them for a night out on the Saturday, 

Here are my options:

1. Leave Imogen with MIL for the night. 

2. Take Imogen with us and get my sister to find a babysitter(probably boyfriends sister).

3. Take Imogen with us, take her out for meal, leave early and leave them all to party. 

My parents have said it is up to us, but I do believe they would like us all to go out together without Imogen. 

Anyway your opinions! 

I think you should leave her with your MIL for the night. It hopefully wont be as bad you think and then you can let your hair down and enjoy yourself.

My worry is I am 3 hours away if anything goes wrong, also my parents hardly see her. If they didn't see in October they wouldn't see her again until CHristmas. Which would be nearly three months since last visit. 

I would go with B - so your daughter is involved but you get the night out - assuming you know/trust the sitter. If not then probably C. If you were happy to leave her A is reasonanble too.

Tough one, I would be tempted to leave her with MIL, just so I could enjoy an evening out without having to worry, saying that though I would still worry anyway.

Jemago - that doesn't help!!

I haven't met the sitter before, so that is niggling away at me. 

I know my mum wouldn't be happy with No. 3. 

would you feel better leaving her with MIL or with a stranger for a few hours?

SM - I am not a going out type of person, so I know we won't stay out till really late! But it would be nice to enjoy it knowing we have no child in the morning! 

CK - Not really happy with either! I wanted to leave Imogen overnight when I felt ready, feels like I am being pressured into it. I know my parents think I need to toughen up. 

It is a tricky one, as she will be a stranger to me, but I do trust my sisters judgement. Her boyfriend's sister is a nanny so she has experience. 

I'd go with B. My parents don't see F much and would be upset to miss a chance.

It does mean trusting a babysitter you don't really know but if your sister does then I'd go with her judgement. You won't be far away and can stay sober to dash back if lo wakes or anything, that way you are just trusting the sitter to stay put deal with emergencies and call you if needed, rather than dealing with settling the lo. That was my approach when we had someone babysitting I didn't know well (H did) and actually she dealt with a rare waking by F really well.

ok, i would go with B then, esp if she's a nanny. I would leave I for the first time when you are close by i was desperate for cuddles the first night i left aaron (granted he was about 12 weeks )

I have left her with MIL a handful of times during the day, one is going to be this Wednesday for the day. 

My parents has babysat twice, and FIL once. 

So not much! 

I think you have to go with your gut. We've left D once overnight with MIL but she is 5 mins up the road and sees D all the time.  He was better behaved for her overnight than he was for us.  He was about 9 months.

Could you not leave her with your MIL overnight before Oct so it's not the first time then see how you feel.  Perhaps have a night out with your H.  Then you may feel more comfortable leaving her and going 3hrs away. 

If you know you won't enjoy yourself if she's 3hrs away from you (which is understandable) then you're only option is to take her with you.  Does your MIL not fancy a short break to wherever your Mum lives?

HavanaBaby:

I think you have to go with your gut. We've left D once overnight with MIL but she is 5 mins up the road and sees D all the time.  He was better behaved for her overnight than he was for us.  He was about 9 months.

Could you not leave her with your MIL overnight before Oct so it's not the first time then see how you feel.  Perhaps have a night out with your H.  Then you may feel more comfortable leaving her and going 3hrs away. 

If you know you won't enjoy yourself if she's 3hrs away from you (which is understandable) then you're only option is to take her with you.  Does your MIL not fancy a short break to wherever your Mum lives?

Some good ideas there HB, I did think about having to leave her with MIL as a warm up if I did that option. But to be honest I don't want to leave her at all. I am not ready and thought it would at least another year yet. I feel a bit cross that I have been put in this situation. 

It is where my sister lives, there is no where for MIL to stay and that is really not an option. 

I am thinking that leaving her with MIL would be best for everyone else but not best for me. But I know I would still worry if someone was babysitting. 

This is so tough for me! 

Remember you also have an option D - just say sorry but you can't go, and invite your parents to visit you another weekend, get MIL to babysit then and go out close to home. Your mum would get 2 birthday meals too....

could you leave her with the babysitter and not drink so you can just go home when you want? or if she doesnt settle?