Help please with early riser/disobedience...

S is 3yo. I've been a smug mummy for waaaaaaaaay too long about her sleeping through. At the beginning of this year she had a phase of waking and climbing into our bed, which we resolved with (all hail) the Gro Clock. Since then, barring illness and the dratted heat she's returned to smug-parent-standards

Last week we brought her bedtime forward an hour. She's finally dropped her daytime nap, and was becoming so tired and grouchy. All went really well.

This week she's been up at 6 (her Gro-clock turns at 6.45) and been coming out of her room expecting to start the day, even though the clock says no.

TBH this isn't the part of the problem I have too much issue with, apart from feeling knackered, and her waking M (I rarely get back to bed after the middle-night feed till 5am). Left alone, I think she'd grow out of it. We've resolved the temperature (she now has her quilt back as it's cooler), for example, and I do think maybe Mr M wakes her up sometimes (he's up at 6ish). Obviously, ideas on sorting this sooner rathe than later are welcome.

What I have an issue with is her disobedience (for want of a better word) about staying in bed once we lead her back to it. We always check that she's actually okay and doesn't need anything before we first take her back to bed. We do all the supernanny stuff about low-key returns to bed. We remind her about the clock, ask her to stay in bed, she agrees, then two minutes later out she pops. And repeat. And repeat. Till the blessed clock does turn yellow and she is allowed out of bed.

What do we do?

We've already removed one toy because she didn't stay in her bed. The only thing that seems to keep her in bed is if we remove all her comfort toys till the clock goes yellow, but |I'm uncomfortable with making her room a place of punishment, and with making a negative consequence, as usually she has positive consequences for good behaviour....

Help appreciated!

I don't think 6am is that bad a wake up time! But I would be the same with the staying in bed. 

I would move the goal posts a bit. I would say if you wake before the clock wakes up, you may get out of bed but you must stay in your bedroom and you can quietly play. 

If she comes out, I wouldn't return her, she has far too much energy at this time in the morning! I would ignore her until the time you want. I know it will be annoying but either lie in bed and just say once you should be in your bedroom, I will not talk to you until you clock says it is wake up time. That might tempt her to go back to her room and wait. If Milo is awake, then obviously tend to him but I would ignore her, which is going to be more tricky. 

Thanks LT, it has crossed my mind to do that - though as she knows how to go downstairs, turn the telly on etc etc I'm not sure how deprived she would feel lol! I'll muse on it, thanks!

Do you mean she has to go back to bed after she's woken at 6am? What time is she going to bed?

E generally wakes between 6-7 am after going to bed sometime between 7-8pm. Anytime before 6am I go into him and lay him back down and if necessary give him milk, teething gel, whatever it takes to make him sleep longer. If it's 6am there is no way he'd go back to sleep.

Completely understand why you need her to though, I would be the same if getting up through the night with a baby, but I don't have any suggestion as how to do it! We use the gro-clock with E in the hope he will understand it by the time he is S's age, but I bet I'll have exactly the same problem.

LT's suggestion is good though, that she is allowed to play in her room until the clock says its time to start the day. Could you put a stairgate on the door until she is understanding that this is the new rule?

Hi Madonna, we had exactly, to the letter, the same problem with L. We bought a Toy Story go glow time clock so if Buzz is there he should be in bed and Woody means morning. Eventually, for our sanity, we did what Looneytune suggested, he play in his room quietly or read books, mostly books in his room anyway. Eventually it sank in and now he stays in his room until Woody comes on. It is really frustrating and I hope it sorts itself out, perseverence was our only tool .x.

Thanks guys

HB she used to be in bed by 9.15 (eep), now she's in bed by 8pm having flaked out. We leave for nursery at 7.45, so 6.45 is a 'reasonable' time - or at least always has been.

I was wondering about a stairgate...

Bellabop I am queen of stern perseverance, but I am soooo tired in the mornings, and it's more that she knows not to do it but does it anyway IYSWIM? She has toys and books galore in her room, it's not like it's a cell, so why does she come out when she knows not to?

Thank you...

looneytune:

I don't think 6am is that bad a wake up time! But I would be the same with the staying in bed. 

I would move the goal posts a bit. I would say if you wake before the clock wakes up, you may get out of bed but you must stay in your bedroom and you can quietly play. 

If she comes out, I wouldn't return her, she has far too much energy at this time in the morning! I would ignore her until the time you want. I know it will be annoying but either lie in bed and just say once you should be in your bedroom, I will not talk to you until you clock says it is wake up time. That might tempt her to go back to her room and wait. If Milo is awake, then obviously tend to him but I would ignore her, which is going to be more tricky. 

Totally agree with LT - on the tv front, where is it? We ahve a stairgate up that prevents B from going anywhere near areas we don't want him to until we are ready for him IYSWIM?

Its actually what my Dad did with me, okay get up whatever time you want but be aware we will not interact with you until we are ready to. So I would get up and entertain myself until my Dad appeared.

TV is downstairs. We haven't used a stairgate since S was wee, and even then not on the stairs. Barring the door feels a little wierd

Our whole house is sectioned off with stairgates, I plan for it to stay that way until he's about 15!

Madonna:

Bellabop I am queen of stern perseverance, but I am soooo tired in the mornings, and it's more that she knows not to do it but does it anyway IYSWIM? She has toys and books galore in her room, it's not like it's a cell, so why does she come out when she knows not to?

I think it is because they know you are tired, oh the irony!! We have now managed to move the goalposts a bit more and when Woody comes on he can come into bed with us, watch Milkshake for a bit while I doze and H gets ready but when Mr Men is finished we go downstairs. Maybe try altering the clock a little at a time, maybe 5-10mins, until it is moved onto a more reasonable time? I feel your pain .x.

What Loonytune said...

Maybe you could say to her that you'd like her to stay in her room until it's time to come out, but leave her with some lego/duplo for her to make you a model while she waits for the time to come around.

x

Madonna:

 Barring the door feels a little wierd

I do know exactly what you mean! But its the attention from you that she must be wanting, hence coming back to you again and again for you to return her to bed, so maybe it is a case of ignoring her, harsh as it may sound?