Are you a proper Hitcher?

I suppose I do quite a few of the 'hitched things' and most are because of here and lurking on Hitched for so long before we started TTC that I had formed some opinions on how I would like to parent or things I would like to have/try when I had a baby of my own. We BF exclusively til 6 months, BLW, co-slept (and still do most nights! ), own several slings (and keep acquiring more!) and we have a bugaboo (this wasn't really a hitched thing though, more a MrDL only liking that one thing).

Not everyone has the same opinions and the world would be a boring place if we did, it's the community on here and the fact that you can post anything and get opinions and help that makes this place.

Thanks Chunky Monk and disney for acknowledging me, much appreciated - would have been somewhat ironic if I'd have been ignored.  I'm not going to do a big goodbye thing as I think it'll just end up being embarrasing when noone replies but think this has to be the end of me on hitched - I rarely need to ask questions anymore and my contributions are evidently not required - not a flounce .. just a quiet bye

I posted this to be sneaky and demonstrate a point.  So many of us worry that we are not 'proper Hitchers', I've often felt the same, and it upsets me when I see friends saying similar things and speaking of leaving such a great support network behind.

If you look back through the 5 pages, I think most of us have done at least one thing that would make us fail in the Hitcher stakes - be it not BFing, or reaching utter sluminess by giving doughnuts .  Like Madge and others said - Hitched is supposed to be about a community - we respect differences, and give support where needed.  We all know there 'ideals' in parenting, but as so many have said about babies not reading Gina Ford, our babies also don't read the popular opinions on hitched.

Being a parent is about making the best judgement for our children, and no-one else.  Sometime's we get it wrong, sometimes we need help - but we are all here to try and do the best we can.

Time for a group hug?

Memi:

 

BookGirl, I think I love you!  You have perfectly written the post I was trying to construct in my head.

Thank you

I hope that I`m supportive of choices others make.  Some of those choices make me feel sad (early CC, not even trying to BF etc.) but I respect that I can only make decisions for my own child.  I have spent so many years bringing up babies following other peoples` rules & it`s refreshing being able to do it my way. Which probably is the old-skool Hitched way but also the way everyone else in my area seems to do it.

Maybe the whole of Greenwich are secret Hitchers/DWers ???

Well said Meems. Disagree about the whole of Greenwich being secret Hitchers, though. My NCT group thought I was barking for extended BF, BLW, slinging etc. How very dare they ;)

Am I a proper hitcher? Well, I lurk a lot, I post when I can and I ask when I need to. Isn't that all it's about?

(For the record, I tried to BF but couldn't, I tried cloth but couldn't, I tried "pure" slings but couldn't (there was once a hitched thread claiming that buckle carriers weren't pure slings, you needed a tie-strap mei tai to be a real slinger), I tried BLW but had a baby that didn't eat, I tried co-sleeping and was too damn successful, I tried batch cooking and cooking from scratch but couldn't be arsed. So I've tried it all but failed at most of it, and I'm still here!)

Ah Ally, you should have said & I`d have sneaked you into my NCT group

kaz13:

Thanks Chunky Monk and disney for acknowledging me, much appreciated - would have been somewhat ironic if I'd have been ignored.  I'm not going to do a big goodbye thing as I think it'll just end up being embarrasing when noone replies but think this has to be the end of me on hitched - I rarely need to ask questions anymore and my contributions are evidently not required - not a flounce .. just a quiet bye

 

kaz, I think that's a little bit unfair on those of us who all responded to you when you were having a hard time a couple of months back. You got plenty of replies then so I'm not sure why you think you're ignored?

Awwww, reckon I could have smuggled my 6 month old to your antenatal classes and pretended she was a REALLY big bump?  Blackheef = clearly much cooler than Greenwich, innit.

No i am not a proper hitcher- i find myself just lurking now as i have posted and started threads in the past and they just end up getting ignored, or if i do post and someone below me as put the same answer i find myself being ignored. there have been a couple of times where i have started a thread on updates on how all the pregnant ladies and their babies are doing who were all due at the same time as me, then i find myself only getting one/two replies.

i BF but found it too difficult so stopped at 6 weeks and FF. I dont sling (only use baby bjorn), i dont cloth,i weaned at 5 months, i BLW and do puree depending on how much time we have, i was told i should be very grateful to have a sleeping baby and how i should stop complaining (which i wasnt doing) when i asked advice on feeding my baby when she woke at 4am.

Erm, no, definately not a "proper Hitcher" in that sense of the word.

Lets see, with Mollie - birth was emergency section but I requested and had an epidural whilst trying "naturally" - well it bloody well hurt!

Tried BFing because it was "the right thing to do" but changed my mind after 12hrs as I hated it.

Weaned her at 4mths (as advised my HV due to her colic) not sure if it helped or if it was the Dr Brown bottles tbh, most likely the latter. A mix of homemade purees and jars (she ate jars far better than my cooking)

Didn't and don't sling.

Moved her through to her room at 4mths, she slept better, we slept better, I coped better.

Used and still use disposables as the thought of washing nappies seems insane to me, sorry but I struggle keeping up with housework as it is!

NO co-sleeping at all - scary!

Neither of my girls fell asleep in a cuddle from a very early age - not through my choice but they would not settle that way once they passed the newborn stages, but (aside from teething/illness etc) they sleep FAN-bloody-tastically!

With Emily I requested a c-section due to the complications of Mollie's birth, perhaps I "should" have tried for a VBAC but heck, I was too scared of what might happen.

FF from the start, in fact she had a bottle in the operating theatre as she was HUNGRY! Downed 4ozs whilst I was being sewn up!

Disposables

NO co-sleeping

Moved her into her room at 12weeks, yes I know the SID guidelines.

Weaned at 26wks and followed BLWing - FANTASTIC and she is the best eater I have ever known to this day.

No slinging

blah blah

But I don't think this makes me less of a Hitcher, I have knowledge, I have experience and I have compassion - THAT makes me a PROPER Hitcher.

It doesn't mean that i get everything right, but I do what is right by my children at the time.

I have 3 slings, all bought because they looked pretty, and I never really got the hang of any of them;  I'd go so far as to say that I dropped Z on his head trying to sort out a back carry and now they all lie dormant in a drawer in the hallway, oops, hitched status revoked!

Maisy Mouse:

kaz13:

Thanks Chunky Monk and disney for acknowledging me, much appreciated - would have been somewhat ironic if I'd have been ignored.  I'm not going to do a big goodbye thing as I think it'll just end up being embarrasing when noone replies but think this has to be the end of me on hitched - I rarely need to ask questions anymore and my contributions are evidently not required - not a flounce .. just a quiet bye

 

kaz, I think that's a little bit unfair on those of us who all responded to you when you were having a hard time a couple of months back. You got plenty of replies then so I'm not sure why you think you're ignored?

 

I'm sorry Maisy Mouse, you're right. I did get some responses that day and they were much appreciated including yours - I didn't want to leave without saying that.  I do think though that were I someone else I would have had more than the 1/2 pages I did have.  However that's the only person I blame is myself - I have very few friends in real life and the reason why is that I think I'm just not that interesting - I thought that making friends online would be easier but I find it harder on here and I'm just getting myself upset.  I just don't seem to come across that well - I think that's very evident in the fact that I said I was leaving but not one person has said bye to me. 

Given the amount of time I spend on here, I'd like to think I was a proper Hitcher. I don't do a lot of the things that a lot of Hitchers do, but I am still a proper Hitcher! 

I don't do BLW, haven't even read the book, I have a sling but I use my buggy a lot, I don't embrace the whole baby-wearing thing iyswim, I love MacDonalds, and Burger King, and Louise loves it too (why wouldn't she?)... But the funny thing is, amongst my RL friends, I am the lentil knitter!

Also, I don't live in the UK and am not British, so I don't know any of the places you talk about. I have only been to GB three times: week end in London, hen night in Liverpool, wedding in Norwich, and a couple of times to NI. I am here by accident.

kaz13:

I'm sorry Maisy Mouse, you're right. I did get some responses that day and they were much appreciated including yours - I didn't want to leave without saying that.  I do think though that were I someone else I would have had more than the 1/2 pages I did have.  However that's the only person I blame is myself - I have very few friends in real life and the reason why is that I think I'm just not that interesting - I thought that making friends online would be easier but I find it harder on here and I'm just getting myself upset.  I just don't seem to come across that well - I think that's very evident in the fact that I said I was leaving but not one person has said bye to me.

Kaz, I like you do not make friends easily, I have no RL friends, there are people I know but not friends IYSWIM. sometimes I feel like you but then I think it might just be a slow day. I am full of negativity and hide behind humour because it's easier. Everyone I know thinks I am the life and soul and yes I can be the person I pretend to be but sometimes it hurts.

as for people not saying bye to you it's probably because everyone is so worked up on these threads that it has been overlooked. I obviously can't speak for everyone but I didn't see your post until it was bought up by MM.

I am sorry you feel this way, it is hard when you have no self esteem. You are quite welcome to add me on FB if you want. Do you still have my email from the clothes I bought? If so feel free to email me.

Apologies for the shocking grammar but I am tired and really can't be arsed to check it all

Kaz, I have been well aware of many of your posts - but in recent weeks have been guilty of being crap at responding to anyone.  Ask some of my RL friends from here how long it takes me to answer their emails.

Please don't feel you should leave.  Perhaps it's some of us who need to be a bit better at responding