I'm at at my wits end.

I am so sorry to be posting again, but even if no-one replies, at least i can chanel my feelings. and please if you know me on FB, PLease don't mention anything.

Hollie is the most unsettled little  baby at the minute.  she will be 22 weeks tomorrow.  She has been unsettled for the past 2 months, with bouts of screaming, crying endlessly, doesn;t want anything we offer her, nothing comforts her.  I am at my wits end.  i have cried non stop today with her, and my relationship with my husband isn't great either because of the stress.

The docs diagnosed reflux so shes on carobel and omperozole.  she is teething so is on regular calpol/nurofen/ teething gels/powders and everything else u can do for a teething baby.

she goes through phases in the day where she is happy.  I used to be able to leave her kick on her playmat with her nappy off whilst i done bits and pieces around the house, and she was content.  Now i can't leave her for a second.  I have to continuolsy keep changing her activity as she gets bored after 2 minutes and starts crying.  I am not a durcell bunny and therefore cannot keep walking her every second of the day.  I dont get breakfast lunch most days as i cant get the chance.

her naps during the day are getting shorter.  she isn;t sleeping at night where she had been sleeping through the night.  she wakes at 1am and wont settled easily.  she feeds very little during the day, and feeds more at night.

bascially i dont know where my happy little baby girl went.  or what caused all this.  There is only so much more i can take before i crack up.  I am constantly on the phone to the HV and doctor.  Its getting to the stage now where i am scared they are going to start questioning my parenting.

i know babies cry.  i know that its not easy.  but this is ridiculous.  or maybe i'm just not capable.  i dont know.

Huge hugs Duck It sounds like a nightmare, I wish I could offer some advice but it sounds like you are doing everything you possibly can.

All I can say is this too shall pass and I really hope it is soon for you and Hollie xx

Oh sweetheart.  Huge hugs.  I really cannot suggest anything but didn't want to R&R.  Hopefully someone will be able to help x x

Oh Duck24, I can so sympathise as Toby was just like this too at that age. I would go out the house just to get a change of scenery as I was cracking up indoors, but then being out was just as bad as he would scream the whole time we were there and then I would have the added worry of people staring at me! I also didn't manage to eat properly as he flatly refused to be put down.

The not feeding during the day but feeding lots at night does sound like classic reflux. Has she had a referral to the hospital?

Don't worry about phoning your HV/doc. They won't question your parenting - if anything you are showing them what a good parent you are by asking for advice when you are unsure.

Do you have any family nearby?

Sounds like you're having a really rough time - it's horrible when nothing works. 

Does she settle when she's cuddled?  Just wonder if the sling would help?

Hi,

You sound so down that I couldn't read and run.

I really don't have words to help, except to hang in there and remember the mantra "This too shall pass".  It probably doesn't help at all.  I can totally sympatise with the night feeding though, it's very tough at times.

Do you get out and about in the day just to meet other adults and keep you sane?  Is there anyone that can take her for short periods to give you a wee break?

I assume you're from NI - I am too.  If I was anywhere close I'd be happy to try to help somehow!

Penfold xo

You are capable, your doing an amazing job and it's not been easy with hollie's reflux.

I really don't know what to suggest because you are already doing everything I can think off. Sod the housework and if you need to just sit with her then do so...explain to your husband how you are feeling and dont break down the chains of communictaion.

This too shall pass.......... it really will!

Maybe re-visit your GP? xxxx

sounds awful.  I'm not surprised you're going crazy.

Does the concoction of carobel and omeprazole work?  We used gaviscon, ranitidine and domperidone it might be worth trying something new.

as for the teeth i don't know as Eleanor was awful when teething and ended up in hospital twice as i couldn' tmanage her oxygen demands or get painkillers into her.

I don't know what to suggest beyond that.

But it's not much fun and I doubt it's your parenting.  I think i'd be camped out at the GPs actively seeking them to listen.  YOu need to eat as well tell your GP you don't get the chance.

Please don't flame me for the next bit but we weaned Eleanor at about 23/24 weeks and it really really really helped with the reflux.  I know it's a couple of weeks early but it was the right thing for us to do.  It might be worth considering it but I'm not saying do it. 

I didn't want to R&R either.Never feel you can't post on here.Theres always someone who will help/listen. x

I think you're doing absolutely the right thing disturbing the doctors/HVs - that' what they are there for. And insofar as I know you from this board, I am sure you are trying everything and being the best parent you can be, under the circumstances.

Is there any way you can get some help - anyone who'll mind Hollie for an hour or two while you have a nap? If you haven't got friends or rels nearby, maybe ask your HV - someone I know is having a tough time with her LO and she has some kind of nursing assistant visit her for 2 hours a week - HV refered her I think. (Turns out now her LO has a problem with one kidney so all his screaming and unsettledness is prob down to pain).

Thank you ladies, so much.  can i ask a question?

Why does feeding more at night show classic reflux signs? 

Penfold- i am in co.antrim if that helps you any?

Sn-itchit- she didn;t like the sling, although thanks for the thought.  Shes a wee baby who enjoys her own space, she wont even sleep in bed with me in the morning, she moans to get into her own cot, she must enjoy her own space?

I have given her a few spoonfeeds sparlking, havent seen any difference in her.  She enjoys the stuff i give her, but it hasnt appeared to settle her any.

She ended up crying herself to sleep tonight as I didn';t know what else to do...i feel like crap.  I just love her so so much and it kills me that shes going through this living hell.  This week has definately been the worst week of my life.

It sounds like you are having a tough time.  The crying is not normal, we had it with T when he was under a consultant for reflux. In the end, one day after he had cried almost solidly I took him to A&E and they increased the dose (3x) and it made a massive improvement.

If you are under the GP at the moment, I would ask for a referal to a consultant and if they will not do it, i would present at A&E and you will at least see a paediatric specialist who will listen to you and help your little one.  The doctors were great when we took T - totally understanding and didn't make us feel silly at all.

Good luck

It sounds like a nightmare. The combination of reflux and teething must be difficult. The HV and GP should be supportive and they won't question your parenting - you are doing a fab job and you are a very capable mummy.

thank you WOW widow.  We have been at casualty twice in the past 2 months with her due to the excessive crying.  She was kept overnight on a ward on the first occasion, the docs basically said it is something she will grow out of and started her on raninditine and didn;t tell me it had to be increased, i found out through hitched.  Then the 2nd time they started her on omperzole with the basis of trying it for 2 weeks and if no good, wait for an appointment with a padeatrician (which can take 9 weeks here. )

I'm also in county antrim.  You sound so, so down.  I'd like to help you if possible, not sure if we should divulge our specific locations on a public forum tho?