I can't think of anything to make this all better, but I damn well wish I could. You are fighting a big old fight there, physically and mentally, and I am sure you will continue to do so, even though it's so massively hard, because you are a fighter
You are one of a few hitchers I think about daily, wondering how you are, checking for updates when I get on here in the evenings to make sure all is well, etc. You know you always have us to vent to and to hold your hand.
C xxx