Not inviting kids - shoot me now!

Hi,

We have the same issue - we have about 8 friends who would have kids between 3-18 months old. We're just going to contact those direct when we send out the invites, saying "sorry, we can't be doing with all those babies" (I may phrase it slightly better than this). So, yet, I do think you should mention babies directly as well.

We may have to put up with one of the friends bringing as they live in Italy and grandparents are in italy/france, but I think people have to understand.

Our wedding is near enough our friends that they can be back that evening, so don't have to leave babies overnight.

I think you should do what you want, it is your day! On our wedding day there will only be me and my OH and we have 5 kids between us and none of them are coming (how mean am I!)

We are having a reception on the Saturday and having kids there, the Monday is our day about us and the Saturday is for everyone to celebrate, do whats best for you, I can't imagine anyone saying anything about the baby, likely hood they will be having such a good time they won't notice, besides most people love tiny babies and he/she will be the centre of attention x

The only children that will be at ours are ohs niece and nephew.  We put a little note on our info sheet that 'unfortunately, due to number restrictions we are unable to invite children to the daytime celebrations.  However, if they would like to join us for the evening we will be more than welcome, just let us know when you reply so that we can feed them!!'. 

So far noone has tried to add their children and only one person has taken us up on the offer.  It was the only way of making sure we could invite all the people that we wanted to be there

Luckily we don't have any friends that have children (we are actually only inviting 6 close friends to the day so not really a big problem anyway)

But we have got a few cousins who have got children, and we have decided not to invite the children, my brother did the same for his wedding and nobody had a problem.

x

Just put it down to number restrictions - it includes bodies in the room - it doesnt matter if they dont eat ! - make it clear and then just see what people say but in the end you shouldnt have to justify it i think its reasonable and if ppl complain about having the baby from canada then - they need to get a life! Dont worry and just do what u want! Luckily none of my family/friends have any children but there are increasing numbers on my OH's side - uh oh!x

We've only got 7 children coming to our wedding - only family children.  I have already told all my friends that no children will be coming but they are welcome in the evening.  So far nobody has bitched about it - well not to my face anyway!!!!

Our main reasons for not having children there was the budget and because I dont really like them very much - even though I have a 9 year old daughter!!!!!

Hi Lamby

Just wanted to add that the most relaxing and enjoyable wedding i went to last year was the one where my daughter wasn't invited!!! 

I got to see the whole wedding and eat food all to myself, and stand around talking for as long as i wanted......bliss!! 

So i would say don't stress about not inviting children, i think secretly many people would thank you!

DG xx

I can understand.  I would say due to restrictions on numbers family children only.  If they ask about their babies i would take each case separately, for example, friend from Canada allowed to bring tiny baby, friend from 10 mins drive from venue want to bring 3 year old then no she can find a sitter or go home early.  I don't think people will mind.  There is always the breastfeeding mother senario, but surely the baby won't die if they got expressed milk for one night given by their nan! Or mother goes home between church and sit down meal and evening!

Welcome to the club!!

We went with the addressing to only the parents and it turned out OK for us.

However, my bridesmaid and her hubby (a groomsmen.best man) are due 2 weeks before the wedding but not intedning to bring the child as they know i want a no kids wedding.  Her parents are coming down for the weekend to look after it but I went for a compromise and told her to get her parents to come to the ceremony and drinks reception to look after sprog and then take her away while she has her meal and then if she wants ot leave afterwads she can, but she's been able to enjoy her orle as BM (which she really wants to do).

On the other hand, the other bestman's Mrs is due 3 days before the other lot but they seem to think it's OK to bring their sprog sa it's a baby (to me a kid is a kid).  I've decided to not say anything yet as anything can happen.  Have that one to look forward to.  Also, they're our mates so if I can't speak to them honestly, who can I speak to.

We're not having kids during the day either as we just didn't have the space for them.

I was going to put a little note in with the invitations or print something on the relevant inserts but in the end I realised that all the guests with kids were my good friends and family and only one couple from OH's side so I just spoke to them all individually and OH spoke to his friend and explained and every single one of them were totally fine with it. I even said that if they want to arrange for the kids to join us at night that they are more than welcome but none of them are planning too, tbh they all commented along the lines of that they would rather not bring them as they would enjoy the day more.

I will say though, I spoke to everyone a few months ago to make sure they all had plenty of notice to arrange childcare and we are also getting married locally and all the guests with kids are also local and not travelling any distance.

Mrs Spink to be!:

  There is always the breastfeeding mother senario, but surely the baby won't die if they got expressed milk for one night given by their nan! Or mother goes home between church and sit down meal and evening!

 

it isn't always that simple - i have breastfed all of my children and none of them have taken a bottle - plus expressing is difficult painful and unpleasant for some people so not always possible.  In addition if you are feeding a small baby regularly then you will get engorged and uncomfortable if you don't for a day.

Personally if my breastfed baby hadn't been invited to a wedding then i wouldn't have gone - regardless of who's wedding it was.

I think you do what YOU want to do and if you don't want children at your wedding then you are perfectly entitled to say that.

We are the same and I said something like - unfortunately due to restrictions at the venue we cannot have any children at the wedding.  short and sweet

Well as im completely restricted to numbers and have SO many more cousins on my side compared to the 5 my OH has, on my side even the children of my cousins are not invited so friends children will be a definate no-no.  I wouldn't start giving excuses in the invites for not inviting the children and just put to "mr and mrs ?" and leave it at that.  If they then reply with their children's names on the rsvp, well then just contact them and say that as much as you would love to have their children also at the wedding it is just not possible due to the restriction of numbers.  If they have a problem with it then just leave it.  I wouldnt get myself worried about it!! People should understand!! 

swampytiggaa:

Mrs Spink to be!:

  There is always the breastfeeding mother senario, but surely the baby won't die if they got expressed milk for one night given by their nan! Or mother goes home between church and sit down meal and evening!

 

 Personally if my breastfed baby hadn't been invited to a wedding then i wouldn't have gone - regardless of who's wedding it was.

  

I agree with Swampy

I think this is a case of IYHKYWU - I would never dream of separating a new mum from their child, I think the suggestion itself is horrible, but then that's my opinion. I am not a biological mum yet I am a step mum and if people don't invite Toby to things then we won't go - we are a family, take as us that or not at all