oh crap, have I ruined things?

can u write one for me??? none of bms give 2 hoots about the wedding.  all but one were picked by my mum because 'they want to wear the dresses and be pampered princesses for the day' they're nearly adults and the one i chose lives 200 miles away and is planning her own wedding 2 months after mine!!

I feel your pain but i think you've done the right thing.  people don't realise what's involved in planning a wedding and have a tendency to be quite selfish about it.

WPGS

Have a and a and give them all a call tomorrow night, say sorry it sounded harsh, but gentle requests weren't working.

FWIW I would have done the same!

It needed saying and now its said itts out in the open and hopefuly you girlies can get on with it

Hope they come through for you

xxxx

These are your friends?  If so then you won't have ruined things.  Your mates are people you can talk to and be honest with and that's all you did.

If you're a bit worried, you could always send another email with a litltle joke about how the first email was written by bridezilla and she's now left the building but you really are getting a tad worried that this needs sorting and could they all please find a date?

I dont think you will have ruined anything.

Hopefully this will give them the kick they need and get themselves sorted out.

Just remember, when your having a bad day and people are winding you up, It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 muscles to smile and only 4 muscles to extend your arm and smack someone in the mouth. x

delvesje:

 

 It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 muscles to smile and only 4 muscles to extend your arm and smack someone in the mouth. x

 

Thanks Delvesje - that is a brilliant quote!

I feel your pain.  I hope they start pulling their fingers out and start getting their bottoms into gear.

I was in tears last night too.  I asked a friend from work I get on really well with and known a couple of years, my cousin (I was her BM) and my mate I've known since I was 5.  My cousin keeps asking me about the wedding but I'm lucky if I get any texts/ contact at all from the other two.

Saw the work friend last night and she didn't say a word to me - was sat at the other end of the room during a meal.

I am so gutted.  I can't bear the thought of planning my hen do as I'm convinced I'll be let down.  I might not even have one.  The work friend is the one who has upset me most - she never ever asks about the wedding.  Granted, it's not the most integral part of her life but it would be nice for her to show an interest.

Shall I sack 2 of them?!  Getting really stressed out and worried about the whole thing.  OH has 3 stag do's planned and heaps of friends going, however I can barely muster up enough interest for a few people to come on one hen do.  I'm pathetic, I know!

Good for you, wish i'd done the same as i had probs with one of my bms, in the end i just ignored her bad attitude and got on with it, on the day she really upset me with her standoffishness, and sometimes rudeness and wish i'd said how i felt before the day. it was obv she hated every minute and perhaps if i'd given her the opportunity to have her say or back out of being my bm, we might have salvaged our friendship, as it is we no longer speak.

Hope you get things sorted soon

Em x

Morning saracroft

 I hope you are feeling better this morning. Personally I think your email was perfectly reasonable considering they have alreaddy cancled on you at least once.

Many people expect a lot more of their bridesmaids than just turning up for a dress fitting, if they can't find a date be a bride with out them. You are asking very little of them and they shouldn't make you feel so stressed out.

If you want to make them feel bad you can tell them about my lovely BM's I have no jobs for either of them except to get dresses however one is in Chicago and is giving up one of her precious days back in the UK to sort dresses plus as she is not around in run up to the wedding she is flying back the week before and putting herself at my disposal for whatever (I am lucky) make your BMs feel guilty they deserve it at the moment.

If all else fails I will happily volunteer to be a stand in bM (I have never been one so I have a vested interest).

On a final note while out with mutual friends of mine and H2B not so long ago my sister who is a BM announced she is third most important at the wedding (in a funny way not in a demanding way) and she is willing to share this rank with the other BM. (You have to laugh she considered 1st or 2nd but decided you needed a bride and groom for there to be a wedding).

I hope you are feeling better this morning, try not to worry too much xxx

my bms are dotted around the country and could never sort out a time to get together, so I asked what size the were and ordered the dresses for them. their responsibility is to have it fit for the big day (a couple of them plan on swapping with each other as they dont fit.)

I think the email was perfectly worded - if you had gone around the houses with it, then they wouldnt take you seriously.

Stay firm. its your big day and they need to do their bit xxx

I hope you are feeling better now 2, I think what you said is fine - at the end of the day your working to deadlines and a timescale. Its funny how so many of us have had these issues - my MOH as gone missing in action for over two weeks and I need to sort out the hen party with her. luckily my other 3 BM r fine at the moment.

RRRRR lol xx