When did you feel like you had 'become' a mother?

For me, I think it was when I had the bleed with C at 6 weeks and saw her heartbeat on the scan.  My priorities changed there and then in a way I never thought they would.

I think it is hard to answer as I still feel very weird about it and still feel exactly like I did at 18! I always feel though (and wish I didn't) like I don't have a clue what I am doing and am hopeless at being a mother whereas everyone else seems to know what they are doing.

In some ways I felt like a mother from the moment he was born but in others I think I was going through the motions when he was small. Now he runs up to me when I pick him up from nursery and shouts 'Mummy!' and that definitely makes me feel like his mother.

Claire74:

I think it is hard to answer as I still feel very weird about it and still feel exactly like I did at 18! I always feel though (and wish I didn't) like I don't have a clue what I am doing and am hopeless at being a mother whereas everyone else seems to know what they are doing.

 

It hit me when I was given a form to sign after Louise was born, to give my permission to give her vitamin K. It said "mother's signature".

I had another revelation when I knew she was very sick but my (now ex) gp was insisting she wasn't. My instinct was telling me I knew better than her (gp). I was right too. She had whooping cough, not just a viral infection of some sort.

I don't know.....it was much more of a gradual process for me. Some days I felt it and other days I felt like I was acting. The depression makes me feel like I am acting all the time so it's hard to distinguish the reality sometimes

the first time sarah wanted me over anyone else - when she'd go to anyone it felt a bit different - i felt much more responsible when only mummy would do!

Its a tough one to answer.

I know I'm O's mummy, and like Snidge said, I feel so protective of him and love him so so much, but in reality, I'm just plodding along and getting on with things, despite the fact that I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing.
Its all a bit surreal really, and in part, because of what happened surronding his birth, I don't feel like I've given birth to him. Its like the defining moment into becoming a mummy didn't happen. That sounds bonkers, I know.

We do have little moments though where I'm forced (for the want of a better way to put it) to think about the reality of things. For example, sometimes when H is holding O, he'll be chatting away to him, but O just isn't interested and will be staring intently at me instead. I'll smile at/talk to him and he'll give me the biggest cheesy grin. And then I'll ask my H why he's staring at me so much. H will always, always say 'because you're his mummy and he loves you'. I never really know what to say!
It still strikes me as odd that this little person can find me so interesting compared to everyone and everything else. I'm sure I'll figure out that it's because I'm his mummy eventually, and then begin to accept it.

Mazzy-moo:

I don't feel like I've given birth to him. Its like the defining moment into becoming a mummy didn't happen. That sounds bonkers, I know.

No, I don't think that's bonkers at all. I felt like this and still do sometimes and my c section was scheduled! I would really like to give you a hug because what you say rings so true with me and I am sure a lot of other hitchers too. It's hard to understand that this little person loves you more than anyone else and always will. I've got two of them grinning up at me and it melts my heart everytime. Like I said previously - I am slowly coming round to the idea of being a mum and my girls are now 22 weeks old. I have days where I can't believe they are here! I guess everyone is different and just because we haven't quite got to terms with the fact that we are now mums does not mean that we don't love them to bits and care for them to the best of our abilities. Even if that means going through the motions on some days -  I am sure most do at some stage.

Have a virtual hug and some much needed chocolate (never too early me thinks). You are a fab mummy to O.

Mazzy-moo:

Its a tough one to answer.

 

I know I'm O's mummy, and like Snidge said, I feel so protective of him and love him so so much, but in reality, I'm just plodding along and getting on with things, despite the fact that I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing.
Its all a bit surreal really, and in part, because of what happened surronding his birth, I don't feel like I've given birth to him. Its like the defining moment into becoming a mummy didn't happen. That sounds bonkers, I know.

 

I do think I am getting there now. At first I just felt like I was making it up as I went along and plodding along. Only in the last month or so that I feel more of a mum and we've done more things together - although I think that's also to do with her being older now so I feel that she likes the things I try to do e.g. swings etc.

Claire74:

I think it is hard to answer as I still feel very weird about it and still feel exactly like I did at 18! I always feel though (and wish I didn't) like I don't have a clue what I am doing and am hopeless at being a mother whereas everyone else seems to know what they are doing.

 

That's really struck a chord with me. That's exactly how I feel a lot of the time. I'm sure I'm still an irresponsible teenager really. The other day my mum referred to someone as being the same age as me - I said no they're much older, they're in their 30s - then my mum pointed out that I'll be in my 30s in a couple of months.Oops, yes.

There are some really interesting posts here and it's fascinating reading different people's experiences of it all.

This is going to sound weird, but I felt like a mum before my babies were even conceived.

During the stimming phase of IVF I could feel my ovaries swelling with the follicles containing the eggs... believe me, it's not a comfortable feeling! Anyway, I was very protective of my tummy during this phase and was always very careful when driving as I did't want anything to damage them.

Once I was pregnant obviously the protective feelings towards the bump continued. And now they are here, woe betide anyone or anything trying to harm them! Think Mummy Lion here!

x

Maisy Mouse:

Claire74:

I think it is hard to answer as I still feel very weird about it and still feel exactly like I did at 18! I always feel though (and wish I didn't) like I don't have a clue what I am doing and am hopeless at being a mother whereas everyone else seems to know what they are doing.

 

 

 

 

That's really struck a chord with me. That's exactly how I feel a lot of the time. I'm sure I'm still an irresponsible teenager really. The other day my mum referred to someone as being the same age as me - I said no they're much older, they're in their 30s - then my mum pointed out that I'll be in my 30s in a couple of months.Oops, yes.

 

There are some really interesting posts here and it's fascinating reading different people's experiences of it all.

 

 

 

I am 35 and do feel no different really, except a bit more tired I guess!

In some ways I feel like I became a mother when we found out Jack was incredibly  poorly. I had to make the hardest and most important decision I will (hopefully) ever make in my life and I had to make in on his behalf, with his needs outweighing my own. I felt the responsibility of parenthood so much that day. It was a harsh exposure to the joy and despair of parenthood but that's probably where it started for me.

On another level I still get a bit wibbly when I refer to "my daughter". It kind of hits home that I have someone I'm responsible for!

Marley:

 

 

In some ways I feel like I became a mother when we found out Jack was incredibly  poorly. I had to make the hardest and most important decision I will (hopefully) ever make in my life and I had to make in on his behalf, with his needs outweighing my own. I felt the responsibility of parenthood so much that day. It was a harsh exposure to the joy and despair of parenthood but that's probably where it started for me.

 

On another level I still get a bit wibbly when I refer to "my daughter". It kind of hits home that I have someone I'm responsible for!

 

I think this is what I was trying to get at, it wasnt about what I wanted anymore.

loobyg:

the first time sarah wanted me over anyone else - when she'd go to anyone it felt a bit different - i felt much more responsible when only mummy would do!

A bit of this - and when she can ask for me too. It's only pretty recent (at 18 months). I can only just now say 'my daughter' without feeling daft.