Im sooooooo mad

So here it go's, Decided yesterday to show MIL and SIL who is also 1 of my bridesmaids pics of my hair and make up trials to try and include them and got told by MIL Ohhh make up makes you look really old !!!! then got ripped to shreds about bridemaids hair trials which SIL said she could not make!!! and was advise by MIL, oh thats the way SIL is wearing her hair(when looking at my trial pic)  no consideration to the fact that I have 5 bridesmaids in total.

Then they went on to tell me that SIL daughter who is also 1 of 2 flowergirls is wearing her hair down and curly again taking no consideration to the fact that I wanted flowergirls similar !!!

SIL did not want make up trail either as she is fussy and wants to do her own make up, which i can totally understand but then go's on about this make up artist she knows who is really good???

Am I just being unreasonable or are the just trying to be awkward and mean, when I said to OH hes just said ignor them who's wedding is it anyway in which I replied your mother and sisters by the sound of it lol.

Lx

I would just ignore them.  You'll look lovely and so will your other bridesmaids.  If your SIL wants to be different that that's up to her.  Sod her!

Its always annoying to hear that people are struggling with other people sticking their nose in! Do you normally have a good relationship with both of them?

Your OH is right, it is your wedding but it is not always easy to get that message across to people without causing an argument when they think their ideas are better.

I would advise to speak to them both individually about things as it is sounding like they are fueling eachother?

x

Claire is right - people do fuel each other. I'd just say very firmly that you want the BM's hair to be "such and such". If they kick up a fuss, get OH to have a word. People do try and take over, and you've got to stand your ground.

Hi Claire

Never really got on with MIL since we have been together, all started when she said I trapped her son when I feel pregnant with our first son who is now ten also said when we told her I was expecting she said you's wont be staying here!!! hell would freeze over before I would stay with her.

Used to get on really well with SIL before I asked her to be bridesmaide now she has just turned into a miniture version of her horrible mum lol

Lx

That's quite insensitive of your MIL and SIL to criticise everything so much.  If it's any consolation my H said I looked like a clown after my MU trial!  but when you're in the dress, with hair done etc it does look so different and more natural.

Is it really important that all you BM's have the same hair do?  There's nothing wrong with your BMs not looking like clones of each other.  Maybe your SIL doesn't like and/or wouldn't feel comfortable in the style you want her too, I personally would hate to think of any of my BMs not being comfortable and enjoying the day.  I'm not trying to antagonise (right word?) you, but just trying to help you see it from another POV.

 do agree with what sarah-kay is saying. I would feel awful if I didnt feel comfortable with my hair, having photo's done, centre of attention etc...... but there is also a fine line of them taking over and you having what yuo want.

Maybe you could discuss it with her on your own of what would feel most comfortable for her and also a style that you really like too?

Thanks Sarah Kay

I did give the option that they could all have there hair different that really does not matter to me because as you said i would not want anyone sitting there feeling uncomfortable all day and night.  I think its more the point that she does not want to be included in hair trials ect when im payiing for all this on the day, she is just wanting to go off so her own thing even suggested that she took her dress and got her own fitting and alterations done, I have tried soo hard to include her in everything.

Lx

well at least you've learnt that you won't be including them anymore with the preparations!!! the annoying thing is you only showed them to be nice! i think its very tactless of MIL to say that to you about your make up or about your son, some people will just say something mean just to upset you and get a reaction.  Don't let it get to you (easy for me to say).

personally, i'd let SIL do her own make up - saves you money!!!! as for the hair do's who is paying for them? it would be considerate of them to have the style you requested if your paying for it! but the bridesmaids don't necessary have to have the same hair dos if its going to cause a big row!

I will be paying for them on the day and honestly dont mind if they all want different not everyone suits there hair a certain way. Just feel as if they are just Jealous.

Lx

I think the key is to stay very calm.  and just explain to her that she is part of the bridal party, and that everything that is done will be a part of the bridal party, as in every1 will be doing it all together and explain that it is more fun that way and it keeps every1 together.  if she does up-cast at all then just point out that you would really like every1 to be able to get on well together and it would please you to no end if she could just cooperate.  do the killing with kindness thing! :)