AIBU- updated

mrslf:

RJ - You are such a very kind person, I think about you often as well and I really do hope that our wishes come true and that we have the families that we really desire.  Me and H have booked a meal at a new Italian restaurant that has opened in our hometown tomorrow night, just the two of us, and we are determined that we are going to enjoy our Christmas, but of course it will be tinged with a touch of sadness that can't be prevented no matter how hard you try.

Please take one day at a time and most importantly please allow yourselves to grieve properly, I didn't for our second or third one and pretended to the outside world that everything was fine, when inside I was crumbling.

I did that for the first, I was out with friends, it got to midnight on the day of our due date and I found myself sobbing in the middle of a very cheesy nightclub into a glass of vodka- not my finest moment. But that was the first time I had really cried. I have such a better back up system and now after a couple of good nights sleep I am starting to feel a bit stronger.

I am just hoping and praying 2010 will be a better year for us and many of the other wonderful women I have 'met' through hitched and deadwood. GOK I think we deserve it.

Personally I'd retract their invitation and just have the other couple over instead.

How dare that selfish woman say such things. What a cow.

I don't know what else to say, but I am so pleased your husband is outraged too. You really don't need people like them around you at this time.

x

I finally broke down after we had our ectopic pregnancy, I was at work one of my male colleagues was bleating on about how much he knew about pregnancy etc.  His wife had only had the baby 3 weeks before I came back to work and he insisted on telling me at every given opportunity that he was the worlds greatest expert on pregnancy and that he could probably tell me just what I had done wrong for me to have had such bad luck with my pregnancies.

I have a lovely support network around me now though, my H is my whole world and my rock, my parents and my brother are without doubt among the best support that I could ever have, but don't get me started on H's parents and family, they are completely useless, always have been and always will be.

Fark me you are definitely not being unreasonable! That's like someone not coming round to see me because I make them feel guilty about having their own chidren or something - actually it's worse, they said it.

It's NOT you, it's them.

You've had such a horrible year - I know it's longer than that but I sense from your posts you've reached the 'enough already' stage if you weren't there before. Please be kind to yourself, surround yourself with those that love you (that includes wierdies like us) and if you need to, seek counselling support.

xxx

MrsLF, tell me where that bloke is and I will hunt him down and hurt him. Twunt. x

That has just made me so sad RJ. It's bad enough that they thought it let alone said anything. You are definitely not BU!

hope you slipped some laxatives into his coffee it is during times like this you realise who your friends are. We still have hope though

Thanks Sharrington, it is quite funny I have never seen my H so outraged.  hope the boys are better now?

Thank you Madonna and CM, I am going to seek some counselling support in the new year I thought i would ask when i have my follow up at the fertility centre.

x

raspberryjam:

Thanks Sharrington, it is quite funny I have never seen my H so outraged.  hope the boys are better now?

Yes they are much better thanks!

But I am still fuming on your behalf!

x

raspberryjam:

hope you slipped some laxatives into his coffee

Hmmmmm, maybe this is the answer?!  Maybe not if you were planning to do NYE at your house though!

Madonna - Thanks for the offer, but I dealt with him myself and my boss wasn't best pleased with him either.  He only ever says morning or goodnight to be me now, which suits me down to the ground, xx

I am absolutely raging/upset that someone would think that never mind say it out loud.  FFS she has only been ttc since bloody august.  I want to give her a big hefty slap, on your behalf.

I can understand some people not knowing what to say to someone who has had m/c etc but this takes the biscuit.  Glad to hear your H will be sorting it out.

Take care of youself.   And to everyone else, I really hope 2010 is our year.

RaspJ the steam is coming out of my ears and misting up the window!  If she can't deal with this, maybe she is not mature enough or ready yet for the inevitable ups and downs of TTC, pregnancy and motherhood.  Cut them out this year, and good on your H for his unfailing support.

Thank you for your replies. J has spoken with D when he came over with our presents, he looked quite shamefaced when he arrived and apologised to me as he left (I had come upstairs to sort out some packing) , he told us H was finding it very hard as she assumed she would fall pg straight away. J explained that unfortunately that wasn't the way of the world and H had to take the rough with the smooth, hopefully they wouldn't have long to wait but if they came at new year then they would have to lump it if the conversation turns to our losses, and talking about our hopes for the future that was our right and way of dealing with things. So as it stands they are still coming and I think they are both quite embarrassed for what has been said.

updated in original post