Anyone have time for a bit of a family rant...?

Hi y'all.

I was just wondering if anyone else feels like their parents are not excited about your impending nuptuals?  I went for a pre-xmas visit to my parents yesterday and - as always - they never bothered to ask how the planning is going.  I tried to get my mum involved a while ago by taking her dress shopping but she didnt seem that bothered. Yesterday while I was visiting she proceeded to tell my nephew and uncle that getting married was a waste of time and she has no I idea why I am bothering (in that rubbish way where someone is not talking to you, but is making sure that you hear it!!).  My dad just wanted to know whether there was a train station near to the reception venue as he plans on leaving once he's done his speech!!!  I really feel like they dont care and actually would rather not be there.  I can sense an impending arguement on xmas day as they have nothing nice to say about the wedding at all.  They seem to have some odd idea that I am a 'snob' because I am actually getting married!

I suppose I never considered us a close family, but I thought that they might be a little excited about their eldest daughter getting married. At the moment I just feel like I am being a hinderance to them.  Sorry, Im probably feeling a bit sorry for myself!  I guess I never realised how important it would be to have my family involved.

Sid xx

believe me, you arent the only one.  When I got engaged mum kept hinting to me to get married where my father lives so she 'wouldnt have to put up with him'  Peeps here know my sorry-saga so I wont bore them but my mum had noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo interest in anything and rolled her eyes at anything I did tell her so Hitched was my saviour!.......

It is difficult to swallow knowing that your parents dont give a care in the world...my mum was of the school of 'Waste of Money.... honestly, it will get better nearer the time. My advice is DONT TELL THEM ANYTHING.....if they ask then fine but keep your answers short and with little detail.....

x

Thanks Teehee - I think I need to give up on trying to arrange things to make things easier for them, or to arrange things that they might like!  If they are only going to be there for 2 hours on the day I may as well just accept it and do what I want! lol

Sorry to hear of your issues with your family Sid.

But, if you want to save yourself heartache in the coming few months then I would only mention the wedding when you have to. That sounds horrible but you'll only end up being the one thats upset when they don't appear to listen / put it down etc so may be better to keep it to yourself if you see what I mean? It's coming across a bit rambly I'm afraid!

It must be a horrible feeling for you though as it's obvious you would like them to be involved.

Anyway, you know we're always here to share your plans with you! We're always listening!

Thanks Raef - I will definitely be using the Hitched shoulder to lean on, as I think OH gets proper fed up of my rants!

sid, the others are completely right.  Everyone on here knows the problems I am having with my mum and the rest of my family have no interest whatsoever.  I also don't know any women socially and men arent the best audience tbh!

I think it is best not to talk about it with people who can't share your excitement.  It really puts a dampener on things, and you can always come and talk to us!

I was having the opposite problem with my family. My mum got married last summer & to make life easier for herself she let my sisters do most of the planning. So after I told them that I was getting married I think they thought they were gonna be as involved assuming they were coming to a wedding fayre with us & wanting to know lots of details like our 1st dance & what the food will be (we're not paying extra to provide a choice so not gonna tell them). Its nice they want to know but I feel like its just so they can judge me on everything.

Don't think you can win with families but I do really feel for you. Hopefully they'll get more excited as it gets nearer to the event. try not to let it spoil your christmas

I feel like my family aren't interested at all too. My sis seems to be getting all the attention because she's having a rough time, but it's taking away my excitement. Like last week when I said "Ooh I've booked the appointment to order my dress will pay half my deposit so I have less to pay next month" and my folks said "well why don't you lend your sis money rather than do that so she can move into her new house!" I was gutted. I was crying and everything, just feel like they don't care about our wedding. It's either Her stealing the lime light or everyone telling me "You still have 9 months" Thats not a long time!!!!! Lxx

I felt this way for ages!  

And now that my brother is getting married in september  IN TURKEY!! she's super thrilled for that, when I said we wouldnt be able to book time off for that and our wedding she was really put out. Then we came up with the idea to postpone our honeymoon and have it in turkey at the time of their wedding all she said was "well we are having the full 2 weeks in the same resort" (we were going somewhere totally different so I wouldnt have to trail around markets with my mam) but as we will have a little baby by then its totally out of the question.

On the flip side my brother tells me that when he calls her I'm the one she talks about, so maybe she's excited by everything but just shows it differently. (thats what I keep telling myself anyway!)

Blackkat:

Don't think you can win with families

Never a truer word said! I would probably hate it if they were going into overdrive and wanting in on every little detail!!

Thinking about it, I think that they do feel Im 'wasting money'.  My other 2 sisters have young children and gave up their jobs because they didnt like them (the jobs that is, not the children!!) so they are pretty short on cash - I think maybe they all think I could be giving/lending them money instead of spending it on wedding stuff. I know they've all been short at xmas this year.

Anyway, think I will just share all my nuptual news with you guys instead from now on, as suggested!!

xxx

sid sorry to hear that your parents haven't been enthusiastic about your wedding.  Parent's are strange creatures when it comes to this kinda thing - I think they either go to one extreme or the other.

I think the best thing for you is to focus on your day with your OH and make it exactly the way you want it to be, if your parents ask you a question about something then by all means fill them in on the details but I wouldn't go out my way to include them in the planning phase and have them constantly upset you at every turn.

sidsidney:

they are pretty short on cash - I think maybe they all think I could be giving/lending them money instead of spending it on wedding stuff. I know they've all been short at xmas this year

Sid, this is how My folks feel as my sis and her partner have split and shes trying to put my neice into private nursery and get her own place. I'm all for helping out people in need. But not if they make things difficult for themselves.

The way I see it, and I'm probably going to offend some people (Or Pee them off!!lol SORRY IN ADVANCE!!) is that the wedding is going to be the biggest day of our lives (Until we have kids) and don't get me wrong, I love my 3 neices and my nephew to bits, but our wedding is more important to me at the moment, I only plan on doing it once so Obviously I want it to be special.

My sis is living with my folks just now, and they are in no rush to get rid of her, but because she said she was moving this month, me and OH lent her money to pay rent in a house WHICH she has no intention of moving into until the end of January, so it begs the question why the hell did she take the place just now?? To make matters worse she moved on the same day we were having our engagement party so my whole family were helping her instead of helping us.

Reading this back I sound very whiney, but I think I needed to get it out. I just feel like she's always getting all the attention, and no one ever helps us out, fair enough i don't ask for help alot, but when i did my folks are too busy helping her out.

Sorry for stealing your thread Sid!! lol

Lxx

Bailey_wailey:

Sorry for stealing your thread Sid!! lol

Dont worry about it!! Let it all out!  It felt nice to start this off and have a big purge of my emothions!! lol

xxx

sidsidney:

Dont worry about it!! Let it all out!  It felt nice to start this off and have a big purge of my emothions!! lol

xxx

I totally agree, bit I do sound like an absolute *** in my last post!! lol I'm honestly not like that at all, but I'm a twin so share EVERYTHING with my sis, so for once I just want it to be about me for a while!! lol Lxx

i feel the same way sweetie, took my mum to look for dresses and everytime i tried a dress on she just looked at her watch rolled her eyes or just yeah its ok. started driving me mad and when i fell in love with one she gave me a kick up the ass by saying i liked the other one better and how much just for a dress!!!

god i only plan on gettin married once and she doesnt seem bothered dont know why your botherin u have 3 kids and have been together 9years whats the point. the point being we want to and can finally affort to do it are selfs!!

the only thing i hear from her is i need to find something to wear for ur wedding.

sorry im going on. lol xxx