SIL rant

Grrrrr. SIL and H have had a bit of a rocky relationship (basically his dad adopted her at 1, brought her up etc and she never bothers going round to see him even though she works 2 mins away). She's having a civil partnership week before xmas and then people are going back to hers after before going on to a rough pub in the evening.

She smokes ALOT in the house. It reeks. Her kids are always ill because of it. So H told her I will take S home after the ceremony and come out later as we have no one to look after him during the day. She's been told this loads of time and knows why. So last night on FB she asked if I had the day off for the wedding (which I've told her about 4 times already), then if I'm going to hers after. When I said no. She asked why so I told her because we don't take S to smokey environments. She said 'no one will smoke in the house'. I told her it makes little difference when you smoke in the house all the rest of the time hence why my mum stopped smoking inside once I fell pregnant.

So then she posts as her status 'why can't people be happy for me. Yes I'm marrying a woman and yes I smoke now deal with it'. FFS. For a start she knows I have no issue with her being a lesbian. Secondly is it so wrong I don't want a sick child again?!!!

Rant over. Thanks!

What a silly over-reaction from her, it sounds like you are doing your best to protect S and still be part of her day. Ignore her, she'll be far too wrapped up in everything going on on the day to care, I'm sure.

Silly cow, she should understand as S has been so poorly. big

Oh good grief.

My brother's wife's sister had a civil partnership this year and is very defensive about anything to do with it.

Have to say your SIL is being very silly! Ignore her.

x

That's just so silly. My parents both smoke quite a bit, but even when we are round at their house, you'd hardly  know they are so considerate - they'd never smoke when we're in the house and fortuntately they normally only tend to smoke in a couple of rooms and have lots of doors and windows open (that's just the way they like the house) so it's not a problem.

It sounds like you are being entirely reasonable and I can't believe she's going on about it being because she's marrying a woman!

Though the status may have had nothing to do with you. It could have been a conversation with somebody else that prompted it.

Edited to add that the smoking bit was most likely but it could be that she has had a lot of other people react negatively for other reasons and is feeling down about the whole thing. I dont think you're unreasonable for not wanting to take your son there but I can see how she might feel very hurt if there have been other family members and friends not going because it's a civil partnership and it may have all been lumped together. I'd be tempted to let it lie and make her aware that you are very happy for her and don't judge her lifestyle.