Boys being boys...and guns

L turned 3 in July and moved into the preschool room at nursery.  Since that time he has gone from being a cute toddler to a proper litle boy, talking about wee and poo and playing at superheroes.  All to be expected and although I try to discourage the toilet talk I sort of expect it.

However I was a bit shocked yesterday, we were at a friend's house with three other boys of the same age when I heard L saying, 'B, who stole your hammer?'  B ignored him as I don't think his hammer had been stolen, he asked another 3 times and B ignored him every time (B's not very talkative!).  Then he said 'tell me who stole it and I'll kill them with my gun' (he'd been playing with a toy gun since we arrived).  I was horrified and told him that he shouldn't say that sort of thing, trying to explain why.

When I told H about it he seemed surprised by my reaction and said that's what boys do and that he doesn't know what he's saying so I shouldn't have said anything.

Now I know boys like playing with guns and things but is 3 a bit young (I won't be buying him one)?  And how would you have reacted in this situation?

I think I would have done what you did and explain why it is not very nice. I wouldn't be buying him any guns to play with either! and maybe try and distract him with other toys each time he mentions them. Hopefully it is a phase!

xx

I'm afraid that's just boys!

My first son wouldn't have been into anything like that at 3. However, as soon as he went to nursery, and then on to school - all he ever plays (at school) is fighting/army/superheroes etc etc. Consequently he comes home and plays with his younger brother (who has just turned 3) and it's all about 'I'll kill you' etc etc. So my 3 yr old can be heard saying similar at toddler groups, despite my best efforts to stop him!

At first I was utterly horrified, and would explain that kill isn't a nice word etc etc. However, my H is much like yours and has pointed out that it's all just part of it. They're also much more into playing rough and tumble now, and pretend punch ups. Not my idea of fun, but I'm adjusting to it (especially as I have 3 boys, so when L is bigger no doubt he'll be doing it too!). They understand that it's playing and pretend, but I can't make them not want to play like that.

BTW - mine don't have guns/swords or anything like that, I don't let them in the house. So they make them out of lego, eat pizza into gun shapes

Sadly my two (4 and 2.5) are also the same - worse since their papa bought them toy guns one day which they absolutely love tearing about the garden with....  

Honestly, it's not something I encourage but I'm having to accept it's the way little boys like to play - and as someone wise pointed out on one of my posts about sibling rivalry, it wasn't so many generations ago when kids of Finn's age (4) would have been running around with spears trying to kill animals so they naturally have the urge to fight and prove their dominance.

I've tried hiding their guns, restricting them, calling them 'zappers' , explaining that guns aren't nice and can hurt people,  but they will take a stick or anything else to hand and still pretend to shoot with it.  I have to say though, that they do know it's pretend.

FWIW I remember playing soldiers as a child with great fondness (we also played POWs and prison guards!) and I haven't turned into a violent murderer (yet!)

As the others have said, unfortunately it is boys being boys and no matter what you try to do to stop it, it just carries on. I try and explain that killing isn't nice, and who would look after him if he killed me, but it doesn't change anything.

We haven't really bought him any guns, but he uses his hands, makes guns out of anything he can.

So, I don't encourage it, but I don't discipline him for it either.

Thanks all, I knew it was going to happen, just surprised he's so young.

I'll just make sure he knows it's pretend

George has cottoned on to guns now and constantly immitates them, we do the same and remind him it's not nice to talk about shooting/killing and try and distract him.

I am a teacher and everytime we used some interlocking cubes in maths to help with counting and things, I would turn around for a second and the boys had made guns out of them and were shooting each other across the table! This was Reception, so aged 4, I think it's just boys being boys!

Strangely I don't have as much issue with him playing with guns as I do with him offering to kill someone, I'd much rather he'd said I'll shoot them than I'll kill them.

What I want to know is, what did boys do before guns existed? Did they make swords out of anything and everything they can lay their hands on? Or daggers?

I suspect play involving weapons is very firmly grounded in our genetic make-up from years when it was necessary that boys learnt how to hunt and fight from a very early age.

We've sheltered R as best we can from guns, I think, but they are so commonly referred to, even in societies like ours where most people do not have regularly use or see one in real life, that I guess it's inevitable they come up into children's games.

Have to agree that its just boys being boys too. My son has just started school and has started picking it up there so we have got away with it until now - although at first he called gun - those killing machines' - think I prefer gun somehow!

At first I did try and expain that kill isn't a nice word etc (as I try and do when he is calling everyone poohead) but now think that if I go on about it, it is more encouraging so just try and turn a blind eye.