Breastfeeding...or lack of

Oliver is now 8 weeks old and BF has been a constant uphill struggle.  He didn't take to it at all when he was born, he ended up on formula for 24hrs and we spent 3 days in hospital as they weren't happy to discharge us before he had got the hang of it.  I've struggled on ever since and he is putting on weight fine, (he was 8lbs 2 at birth and is now 12lbs 4) but he still doesn't seem to have got the hang of it.  He has never fed for more than 10 mins, initially I was so worried he wasn't eating enough I took him to A&E having had the midwife out twice and taking him to the GP twice who all assured me he was fine.  Feeds are now down to 5 mins and he often screams as soon as I take him anywhere near the breast, then starts a long battle with me trying to get him to eat and him screaming his head off.  I'm worried I've given him a complex about eating and he's now scared of my nipple (does that sound ridiculous?)  If it was up to him he'd only eat maybe 4 or 5 times in a 24hr period but is that really enough for a baby who only eats for 5 mins at a time?  He's not had a proper feed this morning since 4am although he's had the odd minute here and there in between screams.....I'm trying so hard to persevere but I feel so sad that BF isn't the loving bonding experience I'd expected.  I'm really starting to think we may have to switch to formula as BF seems to be making him so unhappy and I think it may even be damaging our relationship, I feel like I've broken my baby

you may have a fast let down of milk so perhaps 5-10 mins is enough for him to get a full feed?  If you express do you get a lot of milk off quickly?

Could he be sensing your anxiety during a feed and perhaps that is why he is unsettled?  Could you take to your bed for a couple of days to have some skin to skin time to let him latch on without the pressure of 'feed time'?

Just some thoughts - you've probably considered or tried them already.

Is he putting on weight well? (It sounds like he is from your post). Is he doing plenty of wet and dirty nappies? Other than feedtime battles does he seem quite happy in himself?

If the answer is yes to all these then honestly I would try to stop worrying because you are doing really well and so is he. Some people just have a very fast let down so he is getting a lot of milk in a short space of time plus feeding time will get shorter as he becomes more efficient at feeding. My letdown has always been quite slow which can be frustrating but at 5 months my LO was still only feeding for a max of 10 mins at one sitting (except bedtime). I would agree that the frequency of feeds probably doesn't seem quite enough but maybe you could offer more regularly but don't stress if he only takes 2 mins worth.

Have you seen a BFC? It might be worth getting an experienced BFC to observe a feed and see if she can see anything wrong. Otherwise as the others have said you may just have a fast let down and an efficient baby and he may be getting all he needs in 5 minutes. If you are keen to persevere I really think a BFC would be worth a try.

Big hugs. We really struggled with BFing for the first few weeks but G is 6 months now and we love it.

I'm definately stressed and anxious as soon as I even think about feeding him, some skin to skin sounds like a really good idea, thanks.  There's plenty of milk I think, I can pump off over 100mls in 10 mins easily and there are plenty of wet & dirty nappies.  He's quite content in himself apart from when it gets to feeding time, then all hell is let loose.  Sounds like perhaps I need to try and calm down a bit. 

Katie - how do I go about finding a BF counsellor?  That sounds like exactly what I need.  Thanks everyone.

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I would say that if he's putting on weight fine, wet and dirty nappies aplenty and having alert spells then he has got the hang of it and just very efficient. 

Try not to worry about what you think he should be doing, they're quite clever these babies and can sometimes just get on with feeding.

M (15 weeks) will not feed unless she's hungry and has tantrums if i try to feed her when she isn't interested so i just need to stop trying and trust she'll let me know when she wants more. My eldest would take the boob at any point it was offered though, they're all so different!

Try to relax and go with it. I'm pretty sure you've broken nothing and are just (understandably) getting worried about everything. Do you offer both boobs each time? Maybe when he's finished, do a bit of winding or a nappy change then offer the other side? Although in all honesty if the GP etc are not worried then I'd try to take their word for it. HVs GPs etc will be the first to worry about poor feeding.

I've always had a fast let down and C has only really fed for 5-10 minutes.

If he's putting on weight and has plenty of wet and dirty nappies, then he will be getting enough milk.  Please try not to stress too much.  I know it's easier said than done though.  But I do think they pick up on it if you are stressed.

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Jude's always been a quick feeder too but is putting on weight, wet/dirty nappies, alert etc so I just take it that that's the way he feeds-little and often which is just like me! 

They do pick up on your anxiety and I would second the advice of taking some time out and doing loads of skin to skin, getting all snugly and just relaxing and follow his lead, I'm sure he'll tell you when he's hungry.  Jude has very clear hungry cues but I can imagine some are easy to miss if they're more subtle.

Thanks Tweek, I do wonder sometimes if he's simply not hungry as I am a bit hung up on him eating every 3 hours and offering regardles of whether he seems hungry or not.  I'm still not very good at working out the difference between a tired/overstimulated cry and a hungry cry.  I don;t offer both boobs though so I will def give that a go - thanks.

Cazzyg and Hannah- thanks, it's reassuring to hear other babies are able to get a full tummy quickly.  I hate the thought of him going hungry and not knowing how to fill him tum up.

Hi DiamondGirl,

Well done for persevering!  BFing was very hard work for us for the first 15 weeks and I was so disappointed that it wasn't this magical bonding experience that I was expecting.  It did get easier though and soon it was lovely and I am so so glad we carried on.  Luke never fed for longer than 10 minutes except at bedtime when he'd sometimes do a mammoth 20 minute session! 

Here's a number for the Breastfeeing Network supporter line:

0300 100 0210

There are others but this is the one I used and they were great.

HTH

Z x

Claud has pretty much always been a quick feeder. I could usually pretty much guarantee she would feed for 7 minutes and that would be that (yes, I did time it....).

WEES, if he's doing plenty of wet/dirty nappies and seems pretty content when not feeding, then I'd go with the flow.

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I've had fast let down and it coud explain both shprt feeds and stressful llatch etc.  Does any of this ring bells?

Does your baby do any of these things?

• Gag, choke, strangle, gulp, gasp, cough while nursing as though the milk is coming too fast
• Pull off the breast often while nursing
• Clamp down on the nipple at let-down to slow the flow of milk
• Make a clicking sound when nursing
• Spit up very often and/or tend to be very gassy
• Periodically refuse to nurse
• Dislike comfort nursing in general

If some of this sounds familiar to you, you probably have a forceful let-down. This is often associated with too much milk (oversupply). Some mothers notice that the problems with fast letdown or oversupply don't start until 3-6 weeks of age. Forceful let-down runs the gamut from a minor inconvenience to a major problem, depending upon how severe it is and how it affects the nursing relationship.

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/fast-letdown.html

DG - a huge well done on getting this far with it. It was really tough for me and Izzy too at the beginning, 17 weeks on it's still not perfect, so I can sympathise. Re understanding his cues, I've tried to feed Izzy before when she's been crying and she's refused, throwing herself backwards and getting more upset. I've since realised that she was tired at those times. I do feel I get her cues a bit more these days, but before I would take the refusal to nurse as an indication of tiredness. Once I understood this, it helped a lot with not feeling like bfing was hard. Our bf relationship is long and complicated, and in fact Izzy is mix fed now, but I love feeding her. I hope the BFC can help x