My marriage looks like it is over...

Snowball:

I am so so sorry to hear this it is always terribly sad when a  marriage breaks up particularly when there are young children involved.

I have no practical advice although there are a couple of Hitchers who have been through similar and I hope they will pop up with some tips on how you can sort out the finances in particular, as that sounds like a big worry at the moment.

I so hope that a break will clear his head and realise what he is leaving behind.

Take care

xx

You're so kind Snowball. I just can't believe it. I keep hoping it will all just stop.

I hope a break would do that too, but I just don't think so.

Rachel xx

Thanks dooley, bridezilla9, superhoop (we are QPR fans too), Tweek, Splosh and Chids for all the hugs and kind thoughts.

I'm so grateful, really xx

no practical advice but just wanted to offer a huge

x

So sorry to read all this, I wish I had some fab advice t give you. I really hope that if he has some space your h will be able to see what he'd be missing out on. It does sound like you hvae a hell of a lot of stress to deal with, if you think he may be near a breakdown you need to keep insisting he sees a doctor. My H and I had problems last winter and eventually he went to his doctors and it now appears he is bipolar which is no great surprise. Do you have a family member or close friend you could confide in for now, it's great to have sounding board to get stuff of your chest, if not then you know everyone on here will always be around to chat

Gem x

pinkjay:

Huge   I'm near in tears here for you and is so similar to what I posted a few years back.  You are probably feeling very lost and scared but my advice is to seek advice from CAB or and a solicitor.  You need to know where you stand financially so you won't be stressing about that part.  Also has he mentioned anything about money to you? Is he still going to pay the mortgage?  All this is probably the last thing you want to do but look after yourself and the girls.  We are all here for you [

Thanks pinkjay. I'm in such shock, still. I feel completely lost and scared. He says that he is still going to pay the mortgage, but I don't know for how long as he will no doubt need to find himself somewhere to live.

I just want it all to go away.

Thanks so much for your advice xx

I can't offer any advice but just wanted to give you a

Gabster:

Hugs for you - Writing this down is a good first step.  I hope it can help you see what has happened.  Maybe making a couple of lists of stuff that has gone wrong from both sides so you can talk about it and try and go forward. 

I hope you can make him understand that it is worth saving for the sake of the girls.  It is really unfair of him to just land this on you without having a period of you being aware of what was happening so you can change things from your end and he from his.  You will have to make him see why he married you and that you are still the same person.

I hope you can sit down together and talk it through a bit more - is there someone else that can make him see not listening to you / giving it another chance is totally unreasonable? 

Just some ideas -

Thanks Gabster. I can completely see what has happened and what has gone wrong but he simply won't give me the chance to try and put things right. I've tried talking to him about giving it a go for the sake of the girls, but he says that they are just over two, they won't remember any of this. I told him that I was still the same person, but he doesn't want me.

I know my parents will want to talk to him and try to make him see sense.

Thanks so much for your advice and ideas xx

snow white:

I can't offer any advice but just wanted to give you a

Thanks snow white x

Meggy Winehouse:

no practical advice but just wanted to offer a huge

x

I'm very grateful - I feel so alone xx

 He's being very unfair to you, especially in the way he told you in front of the children. I really hope you can make him see sense and that you get the support you need.

Mrs Sweetapple:

So sorry to read all this, I wish I had some fab advice t give you. I really hope that if he has some space your h will be able to see what he'd be missing out on. It does sound like you hvae a hell of a lot of stress to deal with, if you think he may be near a breakdown you need to keep insisting he sees a doctor. My H and I had problems last winter and eventually he went to his doctors and it now appears he is bipolar which is no great surprise. Do you have a family member or close friend you could confide in for now, it's great to have sounding board to get stuff of your chest, if not then you know everyone on here will always be around to chat

Gem x

Thanks Gem. I so hope that will be the case, but I don't hold out much hope. We have had so much stress, really it's not excuses. I think it has all contributed to where we are today. I will keep on about the Dr as I'm really worried about him. So sorry to read that you and your H had some problems and I really hope everything is better now. I've confided in a good friend and will do with another friend on FB.

I'm so grateful for your advice x

Carrot:

 He's being very unfair to you, especially in the way he told you in front of the children. I really hope you can make him see sense and that you get the support you need.

I think so too. It just feels so unfair to do it like this. I hope I can make him see sense too, but I'm so surprised at how adamant he is.

Thank you Carrot x

RacheyRach:

Thanks pinkjay. I'm in such shock, still. I feel completely lost and scared. He says that he is still going to pay the mortgage, but I don't know for how long as he will no doubt need to find himself somewhere to live.

I just want it all to go away.

Thanks so much for your advice xx

I hope your H will see what he has once he has some space, that is what happened to us, it was awful though, your life is in turmoil and you dont know what way to turn.  Can you speak to your own family or RL friends, I couldn't have got through it all with their support and that of hitchers.  Take all the support you can and take time to digest everything and decide what YOU want to do. I panicked a lot at first thinking how was I going to cope financially but get advice and things have a way of working out one way or another

No advice, but wanted to send you a huge hug.

RacheyRach:

He says that he is still going to pay the mortgage, but I don't know for how long as he will no doubt need to find himself somewhere to live.

No no don't get ahead of yourself Rach, he has to pay the mortgage, he can't just stop and he can't make you sell either. I can help you with all that stuff, just put that to the back of your mind for the moment(difficult I know) and concenrate on yourself. My H has had a massive shock since annoucing that I had to buy him out and pay him the equity, its simply not true.