"Relax and it will happen" - argh!!

I hope some BTers will share my frustration, maybe the above is true but it doesn't make me feel better. I just saw my consultant, he is upping my metformin for PCOS, and has told me not to stress. Has told me to stop taking my temps as it is causing me stress, stop worrying about getting pregnant and my cycles will settle down. Back in 6 months, at which point I will have been seeing him for a year and then they will start other investigations if I'm not pregnant by then. I suppose it is good to have that knowledge, but I'm just so upset and angry as I thought today I'd be a bit further forward.

Am not in a good place right now - according tohim this will just be making things worse and in effect stopping me ovulating or whatever but I am just so frustrated! Argh! So how the feck do I relax about this? Chocolate biscuits aren't currently helping. Who knows maybe I need a few days to adjust but I was so hoping I'd be prescribed clomid or something today [:'(]

Sorry to hear you didn't have much joy today.  I have no experience of this so can't offer any advice sorry, just didn't want to R&R.

The relax and it will happen is said to so many people and its pants - yes, I'm sure its true but if life were only that simple!

Any chance of a holiday?  I found swimming a couple of times a week a great way to unwind too.

Sorry I'm not really any use at all

This must be really annoying when you are trying to pg.

I hope I don't say anything out of line, but two of my friends were trying for over and year, and it wasn't until they stopped trying (ie. charting/temps etc.) that they fell pregnant, so maybe there is some truth in it?

x

it is extremely frustrating - if i had a £ for everytime someone said that to me when we were ttcing i'd be quids in. unfortunately its a vicious circle - the longer you are ttcing the more stressed you get which means relaxing is even harder! hope you get your bfp before your next appt

Hi MH, how long have you been trying. I would have thought you would have been prescribed clomid as well now, but not sure how long you have been trying?

Thank you both. The thing I'm finding the hardest is knowing where this magic button is that I can push to switch off all the worrying and stressing, if I could do that I'd be so happy! Iguess when I come to terms with the fact I'll have to wait a bit longer for things to sort themselves out I can try to forget about it.

MD yes luckily we go to Greece for 10 days in October. Can't frigging wait!!

Thank you. x

Thank you GF and SS. x

SS been off the pill for a year now and seeing the consultant since March, put me on Met and told me to lose weight, have lost 1 stone 6lb so far. Guess I have to keep going! x

I wish I could say something to make it better. I wanted to smash the TV last week when a woman (who had trouble conceiving herself so should have known better) said that if you want something enough and you think positively then it will happen. Ok then. Grrr.

I truly and honestly didn't think of you as overweight when I met you. How much weight do they want you to lose?

I hope you get your turn soon, you and Mr Hubble will be fab parents.

I think he could be right on the charting - I don't think there's any proper trial evidence to suggest it increases your likehood of conception (but I'd imagine it increases your stress levels - I know taking wakening temp was stressful when I tried to chart for contracption).

I hope he's right and this happens for you very very soon.

Thank you Mrs M that's lovely of you to say! He told me to lose 1 - 1.5 stone initially which I've done, but ideally for me to get into 'healthy' BMI so I need to try and lose another 1.5 stone. Eurgh. Hopefully the upped dosage of Met will help that! You're so lovely you made me weep again

Zebra I see what you're saying, and you are probaby right. Hopefully me giving it up will have the desired effect, all I do is scrutinise my chart ATM so will be nice not to worry about it.

Thank you all. xx

MH - i didn't chart once in the whole 2 years of ttcing - seemed such a faff and i wake up in the night quite alot so it didn't seem worth it - i can imagine if i had i would have got slightly obsessed!

I think it is true and that as soon as we relaxed a bit I did in fact get pregnant.

However, every time someone said it to me, it took everything in my power not to smack them hard in the face. I totally know what you mean about a magic button to switch off too - people used to say to me, 'stop thinking about where you are in your cycle and just dtd when you fancy it' Yeah that'll help, and exactly how do you stop knowing where you are then?

The thing that DID make us relax was 1. me having some acupuncture and 2. the doctor sending us for day 2 and 21 tests and H's SA, so as soon as we felt someone was doing something.

Which no doubt isn't helpful given your OP, sorry

But boo and to you, and you need to develop an Ally McBeal imaginary world where you can in fact slap people when they tell you to relax x

Back when i was in Uni (about a MILLION years ago it seems!) I read a study that found that women having successful IVF had lower stress levels than those whose IVF failed. I know you are not having IVF but I think there prob is some truth in the 'relaxation' thing. I first fell pregnant on holiday - no temps - no charting - in fact plenty of booze and no worrying.

However, its one thing to think 'I'll just relax then' and its quite another actually relaxing. Even when you say you will take a month 'off' trying, you still know full well when you are ovulating etc. And unfortunately for you, people do know you are 'trying' - even if they are professionals - and feel the need to comment, and comments like that dont help.

I think staying positive is key -resist the urge to tell him to shove his advice up his backside and just trust that one day you will be holding your baby and laughing at the stress they caused. I really hope you get a BFP soon x

I thought they prescribed clomid f your BMI was under 30. Could you afford to see a consultant privately to get clomid?

Bless it is a real nightmare and I am sure that if there was a magic non-stress button it would properly help but back in the real world I have yet to work out how to relax and let it happen rotfl!!  However we have just had 2 weeks away and I do feel better for the chill out (as does MrSC - cos actually it ain't all about me really!! )

Fingers crossed the no charting helps and that  you get a bfp soon

lol

x