when it should have been your duedate, how to get through the day?(maybe sens)

it should have been my due date tomorrow and im not sure how im gonna be. im already feeling it today but i feel like im being silly cos obviously it was months ago. im hoping that once tomorrow is out of the way i can start feeling better. it doesnt help that af is due as well so feeling extra emotional. me and my H are goin to go out for a meal in the evening so that will be nice. its just so unfair that anyone has to go through this.

I have no idea other than keeping busy.

I'll be going through the same on 30 August.

Not sure whether I'll even still be pregnant by then so<shrug>

Will be thinking of you tomorrow Be gently with yourself

I have no advice lovely, I just wanted to send you some inadequate hugs You need to do what is best for you, so if you want to get through it by trying to keep yourself busy then do that, but if you want to cry all day and let your emotions out then that would be right too.

Hugs for Hecate too, I'm still sending you lots of sticky vibes

I think marking the day somehow is a nice idea, if that be spending time with loved ones or a quiet walk.  Don't hold your emotions in though, it's important to cry, talk, cry some more if you want to xx

I will be thinking of you tomorrow xx

Its horrible because most people don't remember but I actually found the 1st one easier than I thought I would... however I was actually miscarrying my 2nd pregnancy so I think that kind of occupied me and I was generally feeling rubbish iyswim.

The 2nd due date is coming up in the next couple of weeks which would also have been my Granny's birthday (she died in April) so I am unsure how that will be especially as I am unlikely to be pregnant again.  However I had a bit of an emotional meltdown  this week about it all so I wonder if that will mean that the day will just be a day as everyone knows baby's never come on their due date!!

(sorry have just read that back and I don't mean it to sound so me me me but it's the only way I can explain)

Hope you have a better day than you think

xx

My due date for my first pregnancy should have been 14th July last year and I went out with my mum for the day. We went to Chatsworth estate and had a picnic by the river, then went to a garden centre and bought a plant.

It was much easier this year but I suspect that was tempered by the fact that I am pregnant now, or else it may well have been even worse to still be waiting.

Whatever you decide to do just go with whatever feels right and look after yourself x

thanks everyone. its nice to know other people understand. i've spoken to a couple of people today and their response was mmmmm. i dont think they understand how hard it is and i just get the usual if you relax it will happen. its not that bloody easy. the plan idea is really nice i'll speak to my H about that.

Hecate i thinking of you too

gah! i just want to stamp my feet at the unfairness of it all.

It's a very personal thing, obviously, but I didn't find the due date itself too bad - had a little weep in the morning and then just got on with my day.  I did find the following couple of weeks tough going though, as I was mid-cycle on my due date, so I consoled myself that I might get pg that month - but didn't.  It was also my birthday about 2 weeks after my EDD, which brought up the spectre of advancing age/decreasing fertility, as well as the notion that I'd expected to be a Mom by the time I hit 33...  Not a good time, all in all, but I got through it and you will too.  By the time I'd passed the point where he would have had to have been born, things got a little easier.

And yes, it is bloody unfair, and I hate that other people have to go through the same thing.

i think the worst thing is thiking we should be getting ready for our baby now or we should have a new born now. i really thought i would be pregnant agaiin by now but i think im finding it hard because i only have one tube now i think its never going to happen.

My due date is coming up in a few weeks (27th of August) and I am planning to take the day off work to spend with my son, and maybe go out for lunch with my H. I am dreading it, even though I am pregnant again, as I have found it so tough to deal with.

If you can take the day to do something that you want to do, I think that will be easier than trying to ignore it.

Hugs to you, and everyone else in the same boat

Hannah, I know exactly what you mean.  It's so hard because your grief for the baby you lost is bound up with your fears that you won't get another chance.  I wish I could tell you that it'll be alright, but I'd be doing you a disservice by saying that.  What I will say is that lots of women with one tube do still conceive, and lots of women who've had a loss go on to have a healthy baby afterwards.  Hang on to hope, it's your greatest weapon just now.

I feel for you, and for all the others facing the same. 

Mine is approaching too on the 22nd I am going camping for the weekend with friends. I am just hoping that my body behaves this cycle and af arrives on time. I don't want my af on that date. No hope I am pregnant this month we are currently sitting in IVF limbo land.

to you and everyone else with impending should have been due dates.

Do whatever you and your OH feel is right for you.  Don't be put off by others opinions.

 I had my ectopic in June and as I'm a bit OCD about dates generally we have already planned where we are going to go on our EDD which isn't to February.  I'm sure people would thing we're daft but to be honest I really don't care.  This would have been our first baby together and we want to mark when it would have been here.

Whatever you decide as long as it feels right to you it's fine.  Sending you lots of hugs for tomorrow xxx

No personal experience of loss of a baby however my sister in law fell pregnant exactly the same time  as me (in the Feb snow)...she miscarried at 5 weeks and told me when we told them our news at 7 weeks (after an early scan). In the early days of my pregnancy I worried so much about it how she would be feeling....I asked her recently and she said she hardly thinks of it now and she's just happy for us...after all their daughter has only just tunred one a few weeks ago so it would have been very hard for them anyway.

I'm not sure what I'm trying to say but I'm sure it must be hard for you, especially with it having been ectopic...but it can happen again falling pregnant...just look at  pip.

Anyway finally....if AF is due...just think what you could be making in 14 days time...or is there a chance you could be finding out some great news. All the best for tomorrow.