school jitters- how do i deal with this?

my 4 year old has just come down from bed, said shes scared about school, doesnt want to leave nursery and then burst in to tears. i feel all teary myself. when jsamine left nursery shed only beenthere a year and it never bothered her, cait has been there since she was 6 mths old- shes 5 in october and its the centre of her little world. she doesnt know anybody going to the school and is really scared and worried. its taken me by surprise as shes my little toughie (jasmines my emotional one) and i thought she was excited and ready.

shes definitely ready for school academically (she can recognise all the letters, some words, she can write some letters and has a go at phonetic spelling- all thanks to the fab nursery) but how on earth do i prepare her? she has 2 full weeks left next week, then we are on hol then 1 week and thats it.

how odd, i am a mum of a nearly 8 and a 4 year old and suddenly i fel out of my depth!

(not helped by the big one now crying because i let the small one come downstairs and made her stay upstairs. )

it is such a tough and emotional time all round x maybe...if you speak about it all lots then tone it down? I have take the steps of stopping telling them how all grown up they are and how they have to be grown up for this this and that at big school as it has hindered our nappy-less nights alot since we upped it x

Who can blame them...i dont think it is the thought of going to school per se or making new friends but just the way in which it is hyped up to them as being such a big event! Events such as birthdays they know how to deal with but 1st day at school they have never done before/have no idea what to expect/are a little bewildered by it all x

i think youre right honestbride, maybe weve overhyped the big girl going to school thing.  poor kid, shes been at nursery almost all her life no wonder its scary. - im scared my baby is growing up and that means i have 2 at school.

Will she know other children in her class? I have just read your post again. Is there anyone you know who will be in her class?

I would walk up to the school, have a good look(obviously its closed but maybe help her ask any questions). 

Go to the library and get some story books about starting school. I really think you need to do lots of talking, drawing pictures. Even a calendar to count down days so she can cross them out. I would make everything really positive and relaxed and discuss any issues. 

Hugs to you - it is a big step isn't it so there's going to be the odd wobble.  

It's really good that your little girl is able to articulate what she's feeling and telling you what's on her mind. Maybe you could remind her that her older sister will be there to look after her and point out that your sister has made lots of lovely friends? Could you talk to nursery too about reassuring her? Is it likely at all that there are any children from there going to her school? (At F's nursery there are two children who are going from there who haven't AFAIK been to local playgroups etc.)

F goes up to reception class in September and we've been talking about it for ages. I'm finding that it is a fine line between trying to talk about it and prepare them and knowing when to stop. Pretty sure I haven't got the balance right though. It's me who keeps bringing it up, but I'm trying to soften the 'blow' for him, even though he seems fine with it all. Going to such lengths like taking the long way home from the supermarket occasionally to go past his new school so he won't forget what's happening, which sounds silly now I've typed it out. I do kick myself every time I bring it up though!

she doesnt know anybody at the school, but one of my ww girls has a daughter who will be in the same class and a son who had the same teacher last year- so when i see her next im going to see if i can set up a play date for them.

unfortunately the girls are at different schools, jasmine is going in to year 4 so she is at middle school (juniors) and the schools arent linked as such

i even asked at dancing but none of the kids there are going either.

i think yesterday i know where it came from, she was showcasing her letter, reading and writing skills and we were bigging her up and saying how well she was going to do at school. i think we perhaps overdid it.

one of her friends started school last year (cait is an october bday- jasmine is an august bday which is why they are in different schools, theres 3 years but 4 school years between them), i was at her brothers christening today and she was telling cait how fab school is and cait looked a bit more convinced.

tbh i think the stress is more about leaving nursery than going to school, its her security blanket and i was chatting to one of her nursery teachers last night and she said the grown ups are dreading her leaving (theres 14 all leaving at once) so its no surprise cait is a bit unsettled.

so im pulling back on the school talk a bit and just concentrating on getting her ready for end of nursery. she wants to get her keworkers flowers and wine so im going to get her to help me choose them.

thanks all for your help, and advice sorry it took a while but had a mad day- ww class this am and then straight to a christening.