Please teach me how to be ruthless and cull

I'm unpacking box after box after moving house last week, and I'm finding items I've not looked at since we arrived in the US back in Spring 2007.  Thing is, most of them are sentimental items .. presents bought by family and friends, and I just don't have the heart to throw them out (or give them to charity more like)

How on earth do you do it?  I'm trying .. I really am, but it's so damned hard. 

"Mum bought me that when she was in [x] country"

"Jane bought me that for my 21st birthday"

"Brother bought me that when he was in Australia"

... and so it goes on.

With stuff I've bought I'm quite good.  It's just the sentimental crap I can't cope with.  But I need help!  Our house is going to burst at the seams with all this stuff (well, not quite, but you know what I mean)

How do you do it??

The only way I can do it is to get H to cull things he's never seen for me. I figure if he's not ever seen it or used it then I don't need it as we've been together 5+ years.

I have one memory box and everything else is periodically culled by H, I do the same for his things!!

Aargh it's hard isn't it?  I'm a hoarder and I've started (in the past couple of years) to get rid of stuff that I'm only keeping for silly reasons but I do find it difficult.

It's best to start off small, so say to yourself "today I'm going to get rid of one carrier bag of items".  Not a huge bin bag, or a big box, just a carrier bag size lot of stuff.  Then in the future you start working up to clearing out more stuff.

Look at the stuff you want to get rid of.  Say to yourself "Is it beautiful and on display somewhere in the house?"  "Does it serve a useful purpose?".  If the answer is no, if you haven't looked at it since the move in 2007, if you're even considering to throw it away, then the answer is "GET RID!".

Make separate piles for charity, recycling, bin, giving to someone, and keep.  Leave them for a week, come back and see if you've changed your mind.  If you haven't thought about keeping any of the items, if you haven't missed them, then get rid.

Another thing to think of is if you're keeping something for sentimental value, then just because it takes up space doesn't mean you get rid of it.  My scrapbook takes up space but I'm not about to chuck it, there is a fine line between sentimental stuff that is worth keeping and sentimental stuff that really is junk and can be gotten rid of.  The problem is us hoarders don't always know where the line is!

For me it was acknowledging that getting rid of the item didn't mean I wasn't grateful. I was still grateful, it just didn't fit in my house, and someone else could get more enjoyment out of it, or I would get more enjoyment from not seeing it clutter up my house

I would love some tips for this too.

I moved into my flat nearly 3 years and brought with me 3 big boxes of sentimental things.  They take up so much room and I know I have to get rid of a lot of it!!!  But everytime I get a box out, I can't bring myself to chuck anything.  It all seems to have meaning.  Although I never ever look at it unless i'm trying to have a sort out.

Good luck with your cull!

After packing up for yet another house move, i really do feel the pain with regard to boxes of "stuff" that is sentimental.

i've had to be ruthless - i used to keep cinema tickets, theatre tickets, plane tickets, entrance tickets... and that was on top of other random keepsakes and sentimental junk.  so i binned it.  not everything, but the tickets went - i was only keeping them because of the association with memories.  i wasn't throwing away the memories, and because they'd been sitting in a box under 8 tonnes of junk, it wasn't as if i was regularly looking at them to remind me of lovely days.  same with cards - i used to keep every card S sent me but now, i've just kept a few and stuck them in a book.  we've agreed to keep the wedding/engagement cards, but birthday and christmas cards are binned because, heck, they happen every year!

presents from people - if they are in good condition but i still haven't taken them out the box and looked at them in over a year, then they go to the charity shop.  if they really do mean something to me, and they are in a condition to be displayed, then i keep them.  but i find that there's not a lot like that. 

clothes - i was awful with clothes.  i've kept three old t-shirts from my yoof but everything else i haven't worn for at least a year went to the charity shop.  i used to be really sentimental with clothes and kept just rubbish, ripped and unflattering clothes because of the ticket reason, but again, i wasn't throwing out the memories.

books - this is my downfall.  i would keep every book if i could, even the ones i hated.  but every time we move, S forces me to charity shop/pass on to friends at least a handful of books. 

once i get started, i get into a CULL CULL CULL zone and just start binning things.  it's hard to get started but liberating once it's done.  plus, the thought of having to unpack or move the junk again in the future sort of spurs me on.

good luck for the cull - you can do it!

Whenever I am having a clear out, I always put things into 3 piles: keep, unsure and get rid (whether charity shop, bin or family/friends).

I then rammage through the "unsure" pile again separating into the 3 piles, can be a bit of a long process sometimes but it makes me feel that I've actually thought about what I am getting rid of, rather than just dismissing everything, so I don't feel as guilty if they are presents.

If anyone could teach my husband this trick I would be very grateful.  [Katchoo glares ruefully at the office piled floor to ceiling with boxes of tat Mr K refuses to part with because it is sentimental/important/valuable/part of a collection]

I'm the opposite actually.  In fact I bin far too much.  I don't even have any photos of my childhood or anything like that anymore. 

You don't have to cull everything but give yourself a limit eg one or two boxes.  Then you have to prioritise what goes in them.   

Thanks everyone - I'm glad it's not only me who has this affliction (with the exception of Katchoo!)

I've got the 3 piles going - 4 actually, no, make that 5!  .. trash, recycle, charity, keep and offer to friends.  What I'm having trouble with is making the charity/friends boxes fuller than the keep pile.

Gah.  It's hard, but I've just got to do it.  There are certain things that just won't go .. I have just 2 items belonging to Oma (my Austrian Grandmother) and that's all I have of hers.  A couple of things from my English Grandparents .. but then loads of stuff that were presents rather than inherited, so I've just got to start weeding.

Thanks again for all your posts.  Really comforting to know I'm not alone!

Sometimes you just have to not look it in the eye. So if I know there's a drawer of things I've not touched for years, I close my eyes and bag it all up

Other than that i start with piles of stuff and then whittle it down, again and again. If there's several things from one person, choose one or two key items and ditch the rest. I also think it's ashame to keep things that you don't look at, so if you can't display it get rid!

I try not to think of where things came from, just whether I want it or not.  Obviously a much easier task if it's covered in sewage
If it's not being used/displayed anyway, then you may as well not have it, you're not treating it as a beloved item anyway

L
xx