Opinions Please - Slightly controversial

Ok - I know a lot of people frown upon gift lists on here, but I also know there are a lot of us having them.

RIght, I have signed up for a John Lewis one, I know the wedding isn't for ages, but I got stopped at a wedding fair, and ended up doing it. Now, I love John Lewis, but part of me can't help thinking some of their things are a little on the pricey side. I know you get quality, but we are going to be asking for everyday things like new cutlery, plates, mugs etc. Not posh ones for special occasions, just plain ordinary, as nothing we have matches!

It's just the price that keeps making me think twice about doing it. I mean, if all our plates got smashed tonight, I wouldn't go to John Lewis tomorrow to replace them, nor would I go and buy a new kettle from there if that broke. I would probably end up going to Argos or somewhere like that, or even Tesco.

With that in mind, I feel that why should we expect our guests to buy from JL when we cant afford to ourselves. Do I just do an Argos list instead? Part of me (the snobby part) doesnt want Argos, but why not, I shop there myself, so why isn't it good enough for a wedding list?

I also quite like the fact that people actually buy them and take them away and wrap them themselves from Argos (I think that's how it works), and I like the idea of unwrapping the gifts with h2b after the wedding.

What do people think? (On whether JL or Argos, or even Debenhams, not on gift lists in general)

I think as long as you have gifts at all levels of affordability, then you should have it where you like. That being said, you should be comfortable with your choice.

My friend had an argos list a couple of ears ago, it was great as it had everything they needed, and it was nice to buy something to wrap up and take to the wedding.

There are other places cheaper than John Lewis if their price range makes you uncomfortable. M&S are great, and they have a value range that has great stuff for not very much at all.

I completely get where you are coming from! We didn't have a list, didn't ask for anything, but in the end people kept asking so we said JL vouchers, B and Q vouchers and US dollars (we went to NY for honeymoon) we mostly got JL vouchers, but are struggling to spend them for the same reason as you, I don't normally get things from there, and when we browsed the kitchen items the other day, it was all more than we would normally spend and we didn't end up buying anything!!

Part of me says, it is wedding presents, and should be more 'special' and there is a reason I am sure why most people bought us JL vouchers over B and Q, I would choose to  buy someone JL vouchers out of that choice, as it is 'nicer' shop - but we probably would have found the B and Q ones more useful as we shop there for home/garden!

Mmmm so really not sure how to help! People wouldn't mind buying stuff from Argos at all, why not have a serious look on the net later and see what you actually like from both and see which one gets the longer list.

sorry not much help!
Clare xxx

I totally see where you are coming from and would be thinking the same question myself if I was having a list however it really depends on what you want to put on the list.

If it's stuff you can only get in JL then go with there but if you can get all the stuff from both places then I'd go for the cheapest.

I've done a little bit of research and just picked a random thing but this kettle from JL is £64.45 but from Argos it is £68.49 so Argos isn't always cheaper!

 

It's worth noting that John Lewis do price match other retailers on branded goods, but I think the point your making is that the brands John Lewis sells are not the ones you would buy for yourself.

I went to a wedding a couple of years ago who used JL for their gift list, but I thought it wasn't the best choice as a lot of the guests didn't live any where near a John Lewis and weren't technologically savvy enough to buy online, so they had to go miles out of their way to buy presents.  They did seem to choose only the most expensive stuff too, I think in the end I bought them a spaghetti spoon for £20 because it was the only thing in my budget!

Although I appreciate the added excitement of unwrapping your gifts when you get home, you have got the hassel of transporting them. Also, when my mum got married a few years back, some of her gifts were stolen from the reception.  We never found out who did, and it's not nice to think of any of your guests stealing from you, but it does happen.

That said and done, if you're an equality-and-fairness-for-all type, bear in mind that all John Lewis staff are "partners" in the company, so any profit goes back to them in the form of an annual bonus, whereas I think Argos profits go only to line the pockets of the fat-cats at the top!

Either way, I think gift lists are a good idea

Alex

x x x

We're also having a gift lewis at John Lewis (and the initial reason that we went with them was because of the free gift we got for joining!)

I can see what you mean, and both sides of the argument.

 I like that we have a gift list there inherently for the reason that we don't buy things for there normally. We were saying to some friends the other day that all the normal stuff we have for our home is stuff we both had left over from when we were at uni. We feel like we want upgrade our stuff and have a guest list that sets us up for married life. Wrongly or rightly, I guess in my mind because it's a special occasion we want something special for the gift list not something we would just pick up at the weekly shop at Tesco. It's just like the honeymoon, we decided to book the holiday of a lifetime, one that we wouldn't just book at any point.

We will be having a whole range of prices on our list as well to help our guests. And I found myself getting annoyed that our friends who got married last year put a Wii on their list so we won't be having anything like that!

I had a similar problem and wanted more choice than just one store, as I would be unlikely to buy it all from one place if we were to go and get it ourself. In the end I set one up with marriagegiftlist.com, there're a few other similar sites, guests buy from the stores individually so no risk of the site going bust and losing everyones money. I've found it easy to use so far. HTH S-K

We initially felt a bit the same (also have a JL list), but i think that the whole point is that you get lovely gifts that are things you wouldn't necessarily have otherwise. That is kind of the point of presents - if you were getting your Mum, say, a vase for christmas - would you rather get her a £20-£30 or so very nice one from JL, or a £5 one from Asda that is not nearly as nice but does the same job?

 

We have chosen some lovely Denby china from JL - and yes the plates are about £12 each - so we wouldn't be in a position to go and buy the full set should all our current (IKEA) plates break - but then .... what would be the point of our guests replacing our current (unbroken) Ikea plates with new Ikea plates? You need to choose things which are not 'throwaway'. And pricewise, if you add a dinner service or other things made up of smaller parts, people on a smaller budget can still buy you a bowl/mug/whatever for tenner or less.

 

Hopefully all of our wedding gifts wont get broken (!) but if one plate was, then I don't think we would hesitate to replace it with another the same - which at least is something that you can always do with a 'heritage' make such as Denby or similar - their ranges are available for many years and can be sopurced in the future via collectors etc. if you break one of your 6 Asda plates, you will probably never have a full set again!

 

I suppose the point is to have 'nice things' - some of which may be as much a collection as they are useful. We still have my grandparents wedding china - and i would love to think that ours will stick around.

PurrfectGems:

I've done a little bit of research and just picked a random thing but this kettle from JL is £64.45 but from Argos it is £68.49 so Argos isn't always cheaper!

Good point made my PG. When we got our new Dyson we got it in Argos - then I checked the web and it was a good £25 cheaper in JL! Argos is assumed to be cheaper but isn't as JL are "never knowingly undersold" as they say.

Personally I would go with JL. A few reasons;

- you like the things in there and you will enjoy choosing your gifts, and your guests will enjoy buying them

- the experience of choosing the gift in a JL store is much more plesant (imho) than in Argos.

- You are not going to expect more gifts just because they are more expensive - guests will likely allocate an amount they would like to spend and look for a gift around that price so you are not going to be asking them to spend more but you might receive less iyswim.

We are having JL list but are going to be asking for items towards a dinner service and more cutlery - but not everyday like you but for special occasions, even if it was for everyday though I would still want it to be special- its still your wedding china no matter how often you use it!

I would compare a few things that you like in both and see if it is really that much more expensive tbh.

(oh and if it sways you at all we got a letter from Cambridge JL about choosing our list - they are doing special days for us to go in and we get champers and chocs while we look round! Yum. Bet they don't do that in Argos!)

alex86:

It's worth noting that John Lewis do price match other retailers on branded goods,

 

Yup, they are 'never knowingly undersold'.  So if you want a krupps coffee maker for instance it should be just as cheap as someone buying it from Argos etc.

I'm going for a John Lewis list! I love JL! But buy most of my everyday stuff from Sainsburys / IKEA etc but then I like JL for buying presents - and I suppose we will be listing things that are more present like and not everyday. I'm going to make sure there are plenty of things between £10 to £20 with a few things a bit pricier for people who club together or for parents. 

When I've bought from a JL list I've loved that they don't charge the guests for P&P unlike Debenhams where I think it was almost £4 as standard. I've also bought stuff from a JL list instore and taken it home and wrapped it. Though I think most people don't do this - in some ways easier for B&G to have them all delivered in one go too. 

My best friends had a list at Debenhams and also one at Argos for different types of stuff. 

 

if you want JL as your gift list, have it.  i see gift lists as an opportunity to get some nice, special stuff - some of which you might not use every day, some of which you might.  i think as long as you have a range of gifts on there with a range of prices, you won't have too much of a problem.  and what laura_lee said, they're 'never knowingly undersold' so could be cheaper than other places!

(FWIW, i don't think gift lists themselves are the controversial thing, as long as you're not using a SHOCK HORROR money/gift list poem to ask for it - i think *that's* the controversial thing)

We didn't have a list..But i have been to a few wedding where they have had JL and like others have said you spent £40.00 amd end up with 2 plates or a few utentils. I would much rather someone spend £40 and get something more substantial! Also the way money is at the minute, can may people afford JL's prices?

I totally understand what you mean. If you want the JL one then go for it. As everyone has said, as long as you have a good amount of gifts within price ranges, people will be able to buy you something within their intended budget and not feel like they cant afford anything on it.

One thing though, from a guests point of view, I went to a friends wedding a few years ago and their gift list was at JL. They had all individual plates etc on the list, but I just couldn't get to grips with buying 3 plates, or a plate a cup and a bowl sort of thing and I def couldn't afford to buy them a whole dinner set! I know that they obviously wanted the stuff but they were good friends and I wanted to remember what I had got them as a gift.

They actually ended up adding some other stuff on and I got them a vase from the list and then bought something I'd seen myself that I knew they would like but otherwise I'd have felt strange getting odd bits for them.

I probably have a different opinion on that now as a B2B as I understand how people would like that as a gift, but at the time I really didn't want to buy that.

(Maybe just me being strange though!!!) x